Go, Allyson!

Gud, I have a different opinion than your beta partner. I don't want a character fully revealed in the first chapter. Some mystery about characters and background, as well as the plot, is what pulls a reader onward, keeps him or her reading out of curiosity and speculation. Just my two cents.

And yes, I'm a bad beta and I apologize again for my tardiness.

Gud, I have a different opinion than your beta partner.

I have a lot of opinions to synthesize on chapter 1, once past chapters 1 and 2, not very many. I think I need a bit more detail from the consensus. But, yeah, I certainly see your point too. Decisions, decisions.

You're a great beta Bev, I really appreciate it. Aside from my wife, you're the only beta input I have past chapter 5. Also, I've already made some adjustments based on your input.

So, Agent of Awesomeness just emailed me that the Carmen manuscript is out on wide submission.

I'ma gonna throw up.

Good luck Barb!

I don't want a character fully revealed in the first chapter.

Well, I'm planning to just better define what's already there. In the case of the MC: she's an inventor of sorts, she's plucky but suffers from nerves, she's not all that great in a fight, she's motivated by duty, and she's a member of the Guard. One of the other characters needs a bit more definition, and the other comes across as sort of arrogant which is all I think he needs at that point.

I think you need at least the outlines of the major characters established quickly. Some details can wait to be filled in, but anything that will be immediately relevant in that story has be established early. Otherwise, if you wait to reveal that the character is allergic to, I don't know, peanuts, or gets outraged at shows on the CW further along in the story, it starts to feel like ass-pullery. Especially if you wait until it becomes directly relevant...

Well, you have a point. But you also don't want a flashing arrow over a character's head. "Aaaand bachelorette number one is a marine biologist who goes rock climbing on weekends. She has a shih tzuh and two cats, and loooooves gourmet cooking. She's looking for a partner who likes to shop for antiques to refinish and enjoys home remodeling!"

It's not real hard to reshuffle things in revision though. Hypothetically, if the MC mentions her brother and he shows up a thousand words later, then it's pretty easy to move the mention back to chapter 2 instead of chapter 6 and utilize the mention to fill in a bit of physical description.

Well, you have a point. But you also don't want a flashing arrow over a character's head.

This.

It's got to unfold in a way that's gradual, but that also makes sense when the pieces fall into place. You want the reader coming to the realizations along with the other characters.

I'm terrified to send this thing over to you guys. I was excited this morning, but am now fear's bitch.