It was rainy and gloomy and chill this morning, but now it has warmed up and the sun is shining. I think I may actually venture outside....

Godparent has gotten into general usage as "someone really important to the lives of the parent and the child" which is a wonderful role to have and be (and which there's no doubt in my mind you are). But that's not really what it means - it is something very specifically tied to a certain role within the church. I mean, I wouldn't take personal offense at someone not wanting to ordain me or act as their rabbi or something because of that pesky believing thing, even though it is a rejection of sorts. Catholic churches don't want people who are not confirmed Catholic to take communion either, and while that always seemed a little silly to my Presbyterian raised self, it is their church and their rules.

That said, I do get why it stings a little. I remember how painful it was at times for my old Minion when he was getting married (he's Jewish - his wife is Catholic) and how hard they stuggled to find a church and a priest who would marry them without his having to pretend to be someone he was not.

And athiests/the non-religious in this society take a lot of tiny slurs all the time anyway, and it's never fun being judged as somehow less on account of your beliefs about the world and your place in it.

Yeah, going to a Jesuit university with a majority catholic population basically guaranteed I would never be godparent to any of my college friends' kids, but I also know (having chosen my own and seen them drift out of my life) that godparent does not necessarily mean anything either. I am "aunt" and potential legal guardian to a good deal of children and that's quite an honor and blessing.

Catholic churches don't want people who are not confirmed Catholic to take communion either, and while that always seemed a little silly to my Presbyterian raised self, it is their church and their rules.

I was actually thinking about exactly that example. The first time I saw that the Catholics didn't want me to take communion -- in writing -- I was really offended! Now I get it. It's not a statement about whether or not I'm a good person or a good Christian, even. It's just a statement about whether or not I'm Catholic.

And speaking of marriage, I was in a really interesting conversation with a couple of friends, one of whom (M) is a rabbinical student. The other one (F) said something about M marrying F and her girlfriend, and M kind of hemmed and hawed. F was kind of like WTF -- M is a lesbian, too -- but I knew what it was about: F's girlfriend isn't Jewish! Ultimately, M said she would have to think about doing interfaith marriages, but at this point she wasn't sure.

Yeah, going to a Jesuit university with a majority catholic population basically guaranteed I would never be godparent to any of my college friends' kids

Huh. When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic. As long as you had the one Catholic, the other(s) (apparently there's no upper limit) can be absolutely anything or nothing at all, as long as they're willing to respect the actual parents' choice to baptize their child Catholic. I didn't see anything about proxies, but if they're that loose about the actual godparents, I can't imagine the proxy requirements being more stringent.

Amusingly, the first cite I found for this was on an ultraconservative pre-Vatican II bitter hardcore website ranting about the ghastly moral relativism of it all. And I was all, "Thanks, crazy bigots, for highlighting an awesome thing I never would have known about otherwise!"

When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic.

Interesting.

When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic. As long as you had the one Catholic, the other(s) (apparently there's no upper limit) can be absolutely anything or nothing at all, as long as they're willing to respect the actual parents' choice to baptize their child Catholic.

Intriguing. I'm pretty sure this is not what we were told way back when. And I went to mass every week when I was in college so it's not like I would even have a problem raising them Catholic. And my friends know that I would take their kids to mass every week if that's what they wanted.

I am a non-catholic godparent to a catholic child, but yes, I had to promise to raise the child catholic and the other godparent is catholic. And actually the mom really wants her oldest brother and his wife to raise her children in the event of anything. Also, I am in a weird position where my mom and rest of the family is catholic, but I am not baptized because I was born out of wedlock and my mother thought it was against the rules. And I would probably be the same semi practicing catholic as my friends if I was baptised, but there is no way I am getting baptised and going through a conversion process now when I don't really believe in half the things the church stands for.

Well, shoot, megan, you should've been golden.

To be fair to your friends, it's not a thing that's talked about much--as noted, the first time I found out about it was not in catechism or anything, but only when some obscure group of bitter grumps was griping about it.

I'm a non-Catholic godparent to Very Conservative Oldest Brother's daughter. They wanted one person from each side of the family, so they picked me (Baptist) and SIL's youngest brother (Catholic). I don't really have a different relationship with R than with any of my other nieces and nephews, though. My main memory of the thing is being a 12-year-old girl going through an unfamiliar ritual and having no idea how to cross myself!