Catholic churches don't want people who are not confirmed Catholic to take communion either, and while that always seemed a little silly to my Presbyterian raised self, it is their church and their rules.

I was actually thinking about exactly that example. The first time I saw that the Catholics didn't want me to take communion -- in writing -- I was really offended! Now I get it. It's not a statement about whether or not I'm a good person or a good Christian, even. It's just a statement about whether or not I'm Catholic.

And speaking of marriage, I was in a really interesting conversation with a couple of friends, one of whom (M) is a rabbinical student. The other one (F) said something about M marrying F and her girlfriend, and M kind of hemmed and hawed. F was kind of like WTF -- M is a lesbian, too -- but I knew what it was about: F's girlfriend isn't Jewish! Ultimately, M said she would have to think about doing interfaith marriages, but at this point she wasn't sure.

Yeah, going to a Jesuit university with a majority catholic population basically guaranteed I would never be godparent to any of my college friends' kids

Huh. When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic. As long as you had the one Catholic, the other(s) (apparently there's no upper limit) can be absolutely anything or nothing at all, as long as they're willing to respect the actual parents' choice to baptize their child Catholic. I didn't see anything about proxies, but if they're that loose about the actual godparents, I can't imagine the proxy requirements being more stringent.

Amusingly, the first cite I found for this was on an ultraconservative pre-Vatican II bitter hardcore website ranting about the ghastly moral relativism of it all. And I was all, "Thanks, crazy bigots, for highlighting an awesome thing I never would have known about otherwise!"

When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic.

Interesting.

When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic. As long as you had the one Catholic, the other(s) (apparently there's no upper limit) can be absolutely anything or nothing at all, as long as they're willing to respect the actual parents' choice to baptize their child Catholic.

Intriguing. I'm pretty sure this is not what we were told way back when. And I went to mass every week when I was in college so it's not like I would even have a problem raising them Catholic. And my friends know that I would take their kids to mass every week if that's what they wanted.

I am a non-catholic godparent to a catholic child, but yes, I had to promise to raise the child catholic and the other godparent is catholic. And actually the mom really wants her oldest brother and his wife to raise her children in the event of anything. Also, I am in a weird position where my mom and rest of the family is catholic, but I am not baptized because I was born out of wedlock and my mother thought it was against the rules. And I would probably be the same semi practicing catholic as my friends if I was baptised, but there is no way I am getting baptised and going through a conversion process now when I don't really believe in half the things the church stands for.

Well, shoot, megan, you should've been golden.

To be fair to your friends, it's not a thing that's talked about much--as noted, the first time I found out about it was not in catechism or anything, but only when some obscure group of bitter grumps was griping about it.

I'm a non-Catholic godparent to Very Conservative Oldest Brother's daughter. They wanted one person from each side of the family, so they picked me (Baptist) and SIL's youngest brother (Catholic). I don't really have a different relationship with R than with any of my other nieces and nephews, though. My main memory of the thing is being a 12-year-old girl going through an unfamiliar ritual and having no idea how to cross myself!

When I was looking at the rules for Matilda's baptism, all it said was that one godparent had to be a practicing Catholic.

Of course, you belong to a Hippie Freak congregation with Hippie Freak priests who are actually going to go with that.

Also, I am in a weird position where my mom and rest of the family is catholic, but I am not baptized because I was born out of wedlock and my mother thought it was against the rules.

This might be a good example of what a given priest will do. My cousin (who is only a little older than you so I doubt it was a rule change) was refused baptism for that very reason. My Grandfather, father of eight and all around devout guy, refused communion from that priest from the next decade -- would sit on the front pew with his arms crossed. Eventually they got a new head priest (Pastor?) and he started taking communion again.

I get it more when it is doctrine, though...well, I was raised very liberal quaker: whyyyyy caaan't wee chaaange thaaaat???? It's not faaaaiiiiir.

But it is the bitter grumps that bug me. And yes, this is just for proxy. I'm standing in.

Actually, if someone asked me to be actual godparent, we'd have to have a very frank conversation before I agreed.

Interesting discussion. The closest tradition Jewish equivalent to a godparent would be the sondek, who's the person who holds the baby during the bris, and I know plenty of guys who'd do anything to avoid being that.