I had a dream last night that was like watching a movie unfold: Sean Maher in police custody trying to explain to Samuel Jackson why he'd left his girlfriend stranded in South Carolina and driven cross-country to Vegas in a stolen car with a trunk full of drugs.

Work vent: I sent you the chemical inventory when you asked for it. A month later, I had a box of chemicals no longer needed taken for recycling. You asked for our recycling record. So I sent it to you, with an updated inventory, clearly showing that chemicals have been removed, per the recycling record attached.

So do not email me something that sounds mildly accusatory asking why the chemical inventory is missing chemicals. Check against the recycling list, jackhole. It clearly shows that those chemicals have been removed in accordance with CalEpa standards.

Please do not to be making my job any more complex. I have abstract submissions to log for my symposium. I have to research County chemical laws. I have to fill out a 15 page "short form" to be in compliance with LA County's unified program for hazardous chemical storage. I have to make flight arrangments for a conference in May. YOU ARE MAKING MY JOB HARDER THAN IT ALREADY IS.

I had a dream last night that I was sitting next to Ellen Degeneres (I forget where and why). She was amazingly witty in her conversation, sorta' like how I imagine Oscar Wilde was.

Afterwards, I was thinking how awesome that was.

The dream was probably inspired by seeing Ellen on the cover of EW....

Oh, and I wish I could remember some of the witty things she said. (Odds are my waking self would find them less witty.)

In a move that will surprise exactly no one, I am a Darcy girl all the way.

And I always loathed the sensibility side of Sense and Sensibility, because it seemed like the whole mess could have been avoided if only Young Miss Dashwood had read any other Jane Austen novel evar.

Much like my issues with Romeo and Juliet, where if Romeo had bothered to check with Friar Laurence - who has been his confidant and helper from the beginning of this whole mess - neither of them would have had to die.

If I were to marry an Austen man, Capt. Wentworth would be my first choice

Colour me shocked.

I know, I know. I'm nothing if not predictable.

Haha! I just got "Rumors" in my head. [link]

Did anybody else get porn with their lyrics? Not that I'm complaining but maybe an NSFW tag is called for.

I just went to Macy's again in an attempt to try on a pair of shoes. I was informed that Macy's does not carry the shoes in store that I want to try on because we're in "the midwest".

Made of FAIL, Macy's.

The NYTimes has an online "Let's Make a Deal" game to illustrate what's called "The Monty Hall Problem."

[link]

I was informed that Macy's does not carry the shoes I want to try on because we're in "the midwest".

Uh, what? See if Zappos has them. Zappos doesn't care if you live in the midwest.

weird. I know the deal so I was switching doors every time and I won the car ten times in a row. Then I accidentally didn't switch and won the car again! I had to keep playing until I got the goat just to make sure the demo wasn't broken.

Made of FAIL, Macy's.

Macy's was made of fail once they bought Dayton's/Marshall Field's and made them all Macy's. I spit upon Macy's.