however, people will bring things anyway and then you're caught in the 'make a big deal over the gifts?' quandary.

I wouldn't make a big deal over the gifts. When people don't listen, they don't get what they want. But, then, I'm a bitch that way.

I went to a no gift party and someone gave the birthday person/host a gift. They said thank you, and put it aside. The person said "aren't you going to open it?" She said "not right now. If you want to stay through the end of the party and the clean up, I'll open it then." They shut up.

What's a tactful way to say "No presents" on a birthday party invitation for a 1-year old? (I know it's a month off, but I am Miss Plannypants today.) We have way too much stuff already.

Sadly, I don't think there is one. Invitations shouldn't have any references to gifts. But if you really don't want them to bring gifts, I would mention it when they RSVP.

Maybe I should tell people to bring food for the party instead of gifts.

Do you really want people to bring food? Again I don't think I would put that on the invite, but rather mention it when they RSVP.

on the other hand, we once (2 years ago) received a rhymed poem about what the child did need, what sizes he was, and - no shit - a list of things that were not needed. All of which made me blow up with the RUDE. This from a neighbor, not a relative.

Did you save it? Can we point and laugh?

That is seriously out of control.

Do you really want people to bring food? Again I don't think I would put that on the invite, but rather mention it when they RSVP.

problem is, people don't RSVP. Even when you ask.

In NY, I never had a problem with people RSVPing. Here, it seems to be a problem though.

Did you save it? Can we point and laugh?

I think Sparky got an earful about it... but no. We wore it out staring at it in horror. The first line went something like "[Childname] has too many toys, said the mouse,/ what he really needs are shirts (size 4T) and..." ah. yes. it's coming back now. Burned right into my brain, along with the mom's lovely laugh.

Megan is absolutely right on the point of etiquette.

I think Kat dropped a poem into her invite for the twins first birthday party explaining they didn't want any things.

explaining they didn't want any things.

this is of course is entirely different.

I think Kat dropped a poem into her invite for the twins first birthday party explaining they didn't want any things.

Now that you mention it, I remember really liking that as a solution.

Hey guys! I'm caught for the first time in like, 2 years. So I figured I'd re-delurk.

When my step-daughter was born, my (now) husband was very anti-pink and girly stuff. So I bought a bunch of gender neutral Winnie the Pooh and cute yellow and blue things with bears. After she got to be about 6 months old he said they were too boyish and didn't want to use them. Pfeh.