I think Kat dropped a poem into her invite for the twins first birthday party explaining they didn't want any things.

Now that you mention it, I remember really liking that as a solution.

Hey guys! I'm caught for the first time in like, 2 years. So I figured I'd re-delurk.

When my step-daughter was born, my (now) husband was very anti-pink and girly stuff. So I bought a bunch of gender neutral Winnie the Pooh and cute yellow and blue things with bears. After she got to be about 6 months old he said they were too boyish and didn't want to use them. Pfeh.

You guys are being WAY too quiet.

I need petting. Stupid fun job has, this week, turned itself into another major source of stress (like, I've had horrible nightmares about it the last two nights--each involving one of the kids getting seriously hurt and me having to call 911 and having to figure out what to do). I had TWO major meltdowns from kids today...and not tantrum meltdowns, rather, "I hate school and my life and after care and even RECESS!" meltdowns. One of the kids, when I asked him what would make things better responded, "If everyone would go away and I could live all by myself somewhere outside." I'm not sure my response of, "I hear caves are really awesome for that" would have been approved by his parents, but the poor kid was breaking my heart.

{{{{{vw}}}}} I'm sorry that your job is stressing you out.

Maybe his parents are fighting. Well, my parents fighting made *me* feel like that.

Oh, man, vw, I'm sorry. Kids melting down and breaking your heart is just about exactly what you don't need, after everything else you've been wrestling with recently. And the poor little noodles!

Sassy sighting!

Matilda isn't old enough yet to have any color or style preferences as such, except that whatever she happens to be wearing right this minute is exactly what she wants to wear forever and ever; she fights change ferociously and is totally capable of melting down if you unzip her jacket or snap a snap.

Also, dang. I thought I was the only stepmother on b.org. It's good to be not alone on that weird little step-island.

Maybe his parents are fighting. Well, my parents fighting made *me* feel like that.

One of the kids, I actually wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Actually, his mom yelled at me today because we were outside when she came to pick them up, and she couldn't find us (Um...the playground is right next to the parking lot, and it was a beautiful day. I'm not really sure how she missed us. Yes, I do usually put up a sign saying where we're at, but I had 16 kids when we went outside, so I'm sorry that I forgot. I refrained from yelling back, "You know, since we're yelling about inappropriate behavior, I might have a word with you about the fact that your kids have been at after care each day this week, and you never called the school office to report that they would be staying. So, they've been an extra two kids added to my already full class, and there was no prior knowledge that I would need help because you entitled people can't think to notify the school office that you're going to be two and a half hours late to pick them up.").

The other kid has a justifiably rough time at school. I'm pretty sure he's dyslexic, and his meltdown was completely triggered by something he was trying to do and couldn't get it just right, partially because he can't spell very well.

Our step-island is particularly odd. My husband's ex got pregnant after they'd only known each other a few weeks, right as he was finishing college. She's very conservative religiously and politically and they ended up having nothing in common and she broke up with him. Then we started dating. So I've been in K's life since before she was born- she's 20 months now. It's hard, harder than I thought it would be, I'll admit, especially at this age. She's not talking and my husband isn't usually receptive to my concern. It's nothing against him, of course, but since she's "his" and not "ours" I feel he sees it as an insult against him. So anything anyone has to offer as advice on any of it is more than welcome.

vw, you totally said the right thing. I think its easy to forget that kids are people, too, and need to be related to as such. It's much more meaningful that you didn't just give a stock answer.

vw, you totally said the right thing. I think its easy to forget that kids are people, too, and need to be related to as such. It's much more meaningful that you didn't just give a stock answer.

I really do try to do that. Unfortunately, there are a few parents that don't appreciate that type of approach, and I get the "you're single and not a parent and don't understand kids" look, or sometimes even lecture.

I actually think I'm really getting very close to reaching my limit of what I can handle. I was just going along, dealing with everything mostly pretty well, then at therapy on Wednesday, my therapist looked at my diary card (where I keep track of what DBT skills I've used each day), and she said, "Whoa." I was like, "What?" "Um, you've used practically every skill each day for the past week." Usually, a bad day is when I've had to use about half of the skills. So, I mean, it's good that I haven't had a breakdown and have just used the skills and keep plugging away, but on the other hand, I'm not sure how much longer that's going to work.