Can I borrow the hivemind for a moment? The girl I tutor (in theory) has a standing appointment on Tuesday afternoons. I haven't seen her in six weeks due to a number of things, including my illness last week. However, she's flaked on me several times lately.

A couple of weeks ago, I stayed late on a Tuesday--this was when I was really sick with pneumonia and didn't know it yet--and the girl didn't show up at all. At that point I had sent this email:

Hi [Dad's name]-

It's almost 3:30, and [student] isn't here. I'm assuming that she forgot we had rescheduled for today. I'm still feeling ill, so I'm going to pack up and leave. I will plan to see her next Tuesday, but perhaps we should consider a double session next week (Tuesday and Thursday, maybe?) to start getting her back on track?

Let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Kristin

and got this reply:

[Student] owes you apology for being a no show, I will talk to her

Good, I thought. I emailed back and forth with the dad, who's my main contact because the mom is not the easiest to deal with (and the dad knows it) about my illness. I gave them plenty of notice that I would be out and would resume sessions this week. Dad says no problem, feel better, and tells me the student will see me this week.

So today rolls around, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of the student. And then I get this email from the mom:

Hi Kristen-

So sorry last minute notice- but, [student] just called me from bus and asked me to email you. she said she has a lot of homework tonight and can't do tutoring- she also forgot her computer. I apologize for the late notice!

[Mom's name]

ARGH. I've written a draft of the email I want to send back, but I'm walking a fine line between being firm and yet not pissing off the family. Is this an okay reply? Keep in mind that *I* have had to reschedule on them, too, so I don't want to be a hypocrite.

Dear [parents],

I completely understand that sometimes conflicts arise when we least expect them--I've had that happen myself--but I'm a bit concerned about the fact that last-minute cancellation or [student] not showing up for sessions at all has become a pattern lately. I am happy to reschedule with her if/when an emergency comes up, of course, but I really need to know a day in advance otherwise. With the exception of the week that I was so sick, I have been arranging my schedule around her and have turned down other meetings/appointments in order to keep myself available. This is the third time [student] has cancelled on me recently with less than 24 hours notice or has forgotten to come at all.

Do you feel that our tutoring sessions are still valuable for [student]? Should I continue to hold this spot for her? I have enjoyed working with her and felt that we were making progress before Spring Break, but I haven't seen her in so long that I do not have a sense of where she is right now. I don't want to push to meet with her if you feel that she no longer needs regular tutoring.

I am happy to work with you on a schedule that works for everyone and truly do not mean to cause a conflict, but I felt that it was important to voice this concern. I know that sometimes communication can break down between teacher, parent, and student, and I want to make sure that that is not happening here.

Best,

Kristin

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"left unexpectedly" says it without saying it, if you see what I mean, but I think even that's optional -- since the focus should be all about your career path, you could just say that your responsibilities increased after she left.

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"left unexpectedly" says it without saying it, if you see what I mean, but I think even that's optional -- since the focus should be all about your career path, you could just say that your responsibilities increased after she left.

I agree with amych.

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Can I borrow the hivemind for a moment?

excuse me, I'm still using it! ;) just kidding, babe, we're multitaskers!

I think that the letter sounds great. However, I think that any new clients should have a 24 hour notice for cancellation, or a cancellation fee. Give them ONE freebie, then start charging. In fact, since the year is coming to a close, you can start next year by telling them that you've instituted a cancellation policy.

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However, I think that any new clients should have a 24 hour notice for cancellation, or a cancellation fee. Give them ONE freebie, then start charging. In fact, since the year is coming to a close, you can start next year by telling them that you've instituted a cancellation policy.

Oh, definitely. The problem now is getting through the rest of the year with this family (I don't think I can continue with the daughter next year anyway since she will be in 9th grade and possibly one of my regular students), especially since they are currently my only tutoring clients and I am broke like a broke thing.

So you don't think this will make the mom defensive? I really want to avoid the "You've cancelled on us too, how dare you" response.

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you could just say that your responsibilities increased after she left.

Depends--do you want to make the point that you stepped up quickly/without training? Or just that you had more responsibilities than your title/can do her work. I think left unexpectedly is good if you're going for the former...

Kristin, I think the letter sounds good...you are already charging when she doesn't show up? It does seem to be a "let you down gently she doesn't need me anymore" thing, though, so maybe deemphasize that if it's not your plan...

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No, I don't charge when she doesn't show. It didn't occur to me to set that policy in the beginning, which is why I've been so repeatedly screwed lately.

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Coffee: Okay, I sent it. Yay conflict-avoidy me. I modified that second-to-last paragraph to read:

I don't want to push to meet with her if you feel that she no longer needs regular tutoring. However, if you would like to continue our sessions, I need to request 24-hour notice in non-emergency situations.

Fingers crossed that this doesn't cause the mom to get nasty.

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I think it looks good, Kristin. I hope you get positive results from it.

And DEFINITELY institute a cancellation fee!

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An hour and no posts? What's going ON here???

Or rather, why is it NOT going on here??

Hrmph. Fine. I suppose I should get pretty for my evening of dinner and scrabble, get off the internet. I get the hint.

Maybe you're all out wishing really really hard for your candidate to win the primary of your choice.

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