OK, I'm just going to go ahead and vent. Nothing new, just the usual things getting to me as they sometimes do...

I know my life could be a lot worse. I know it could. DH and I both have jobs, jobs that look reasonably secure. Annabel is healthy and happy. The debt is still a problem, but we did get a loan for about half the amount, and it's just generally been feeling more manageable the last few months. And at this point I'd say the odds are at least 50-50 that the inheritance is going to be there, and that barring a truly massive stock market crash we'll be in a position to pay the debts in full by the end of the summer.

But today I'm just so damn cranky. I've barely eaten since Saturday, and I'm only starting to feel human again. Since DH and AB are sick too, the house is a wreck, and I'm just so tired of everything. And I've checked my work email a few times since last night. Whenever I go back, whether tomorrow or Thursday, I'm going to have to deal with a lot of picky crap and sorting out stupid bureaucratic problems, because I've seen the emails. It's my JOB, of course, but I'm TIRED of it being my job. I'm just starting to feel like I'm going to be doing this kind of crap for the rest of my LIFE, and I don't WANT that. I'm so jealous of anyone who's getting paid a living wage to do something they love that I just about can't stand it. I'm just so sick of having so little time for what I love and having my whole life be cleaning up after the messes of others.

I'm just tired. So damn tired. I'm not giving up, but I'm so tired of my life as it stands.

Susan, vent away.

Aimee, nothing you do to get your kid into a good school could be considered milking.

My throat still feels like sandpaper and there is still sharp pain when I swallow. But the lack of a call from my doctor means no strep--just virusy goodness.

Owen typed a letter for me at school today. It read:

Owen

Abcjvvvvvghyowwwwwwwww

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

ww

K

Mom

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuy

I'm so jealous of anyone who's getting paid a living wage to do something they love that I just about can't stand it.

Just so's you know, there is a very small percentage of the population who has this. In case that makes you feel any better. I just count myself lucky that my job is mostly tolerable and pays decently. Love? Oh hell naw.

Just so's you know, there is a very small percentage of the population who has this. In case that makes you feel any better. I just count myself lucky that my job is mostly tolerable and pays decently.

I know, I know. Sometimes I'd settle for just not being miserable every weekday morning.

I pretty much do have my dream job. The hours still suck and my boss can be an asshole.

Sometimes I'd settle for just not being miserable every weekday morning.

Yeah, that's not so good. {{{Susan}}}

I pretty much do have my dream job. The hours still suck and my boss can be an asshole.

It's not like I think getting published will solve all my problems. I'm just so sick of doing what I do. And I just realized it's been a whole year since I started my WIP, and it's still nowhere near finished because it's such a fight to find writing time...and I've got to write a book in a year, AT LEAST. Anything else just isn't a professional pace. I'm just so frustrated with myself and my life right now.

Stephanie, I haven't figured it out yet but I'm guessing Minneapolis to Stevens Point would be around a 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive (one way). Which may be too far to drive over for a visit in one day--even though I would LOVE to host you guys for a playdate if you get the urge to make it over.

MM, your art work has improved noticeably since the last time I saw some of your sketches. That really looks like you.

and I've got to write a book in a year, AT LEAST. Anything else just isn't a professional pace.

Susan, I admire your dedication, but ... you're juggling work, family, and writing. I'm having problems finding time to write and I'm NOT the parent of a toddler. Maybe the expectations you're setting for yourself aren't achievable at this time, and driving yourself crazy to try and meet them will only make things worse.