and it seems to me that a live-in relationship ranges from hi, oh yeah we share a bed to hooray the person I love most in the world is here, I must crush them with my love to please vanish for three hours so I can be all by myself and yes, take the cat with you.

This.

I really think a relationship couldn't hold up under the pressure of trying to keep the intensity above roommate-level 100% of the time. I mean, yes, you've got to have the passion and the connection, but having them all the time would be kinda exhausting.

We're going to fill out the application and bring it to the real estate guy tomorrow. Hopefully we'll get approved. The only thing I'm still a little uneasy about is why such a nice place is relatively inexpensive. t /cynic

why such a nice place is relatively inexpensive.

have you been there at a few different times of day on a few different days of the week?

sj, in this market, maybe someone needs the money to make a mortgage payment and filling the apartment sooner is more important that getting more money in rent. Who knows. If your area isn't suffering from the housing bubble bursting, then vacancies may be high and the landlord needs to lower the rent to get the units filled.

On the other hand, check for a Phantom Dennis, just in case.

Oh, and we're so VERY roommatey some of the time. It's a matter of comfort level. Working around differing sleepy patterns is just a challenge of the relationship biz.

I had wondered about the roommate-y thing too, so thanks for bringing it up, Teppy.

The sleeping patterns thing takes some getting used to. That and things like NEVER PUTTING DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE HAMPER. AFTER NINETEEN YEARS. Um.

But it's totally made up for with random making out, jokes only the two of you know, foot rubs when you're cranky, and that familiar *him* (or *her*) smell when you nuzzle in.

I just worked with a couple today that needed a strategy for circumventing social convention and getting a decent night's sleep.

We voted for a larger bed, separate covers and letting go of the notion that touching each other while unconscious means anything more than simple geometry.

I know there are people who can't sleep alone...I've NEVER been one of those, but this couple really needed to give themselves a break.

It felt great to see them relieved and creating a plan that would really work for them.

That's so true, bonny.

Stephen and I always snuggle for a minute or two, spooning, and then we sprawl. Away from each other. If he was wrapped around me all night, I would suffocate.

The funny thing, though, is that if he's away, or I'm away? I CANNOT make myself go to bed the first night. I'll stay up until I literally pass out, because it's weird to be in the alone. The second night, though? I'm like, BIG BED! ALL FOR ME!

Tep, what everyone else said. DH and I have been together for almost 9 years, living together for almost 5, and we're more roommate-y than not. Most of the time he's downstairs in the man-cave and I'm upstairs in the living room. This way his penchant for video games and Magnum PI marathons in the evening don't interfere with my enjoyment of Dancing With the Stars and BSG. We do watch a lot of hockey together, and the occasional movie sneaks its way in. Guitar Hero has also become a bonding experience for us.

We also learned a long time ago that we go to bed when we go to bed. If it's at the same time (both night owls) then great. If not, that's OK too. Another thing we've discovered is that we cannot spend all of our free time together because it will drive us to divorce. We need the space and some non-shared friends to keep us individually sane.

Good luck with the apartment, sj!