JZ, could "distant" be a euphemism for "not flirty enough" used by some boss that's a refugee from the slap-and-tickle way businesses were run in the 1950s? While I can see you coming off as quiet and shy based on the sleep and comfort issues you mentioned, "distant" has overtones of steely disregard that I cannot imagine anyone thinking after even a couple minutes in your presence.

Honey, give it a day to let everything process and to let your confidence come back up. You were just dealt a low and cruel hand by jackholes. Have some baby snuggles, some juliana snuggles, some more tears and then some Hec snuggles and then - go to bed early and wake up tomorrow feeling 110% better than you do right now. There are no decisions that need to made this instant. Let your heart heal a bit, honey.

But you DIDN'T FAIL. For real.

If the old job is a comfortable fit, there's nothing wrong with pursuing it, and no reason to decide right now that it's the one job you'll have, forever after. You need income and benefits, and you can do the job, and you've had a lot of change in a short period.

Which is not to say you *should* take it, just that you shouldn't beat yourself up at all if you want to.

::hugs JZ hard::

No, he meant distant. There was definitely none of that going on. But he told me that I didn't say hello or goodbye (which was fucking stupid of me, but on the few occasions that he was in the office when I arrived he was always in the middle of a meeting with a More Important Person and I felt foolish interrupting their limited time to say hello--which was fucking stupid of me) and that he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.

There are a few other jobs posted that I think I might be qualified for, but now I'm stabbinated with self-doubt and saying, "No, no, not that one, I can't handle complex tasks, I'm not capable of taking initiative, they'll want to know why I'm back after such a short time away and I'll have to tell them that I failed in the outside world."

No stabbination! Apply. See what happens. I have a host of other job postings to fling your way, if you want me to. (Okay, so I flung one already.)

It's like acting, right? Think of what just transpired as one of those agonizingly long callbacks - the ones where you get brought back in 6 or 7 separate times (no lie - they do that at the Guthrie). The director could give Darren from Slings & Arrows a run for his money in therms of pretentiousness and pettiness, and so he makes asinine comments to the actors and has ridiculous reasons for not casting them. And then reserves the right to shuffle the cast after the first readthrough.

So - you wouldn't beat yourself up about that one, would you? Even though you threw your heart into the audition? Think of this like that. And go out and audition some more.

he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.

Okay - TOTALLY a Darren-type asshat. Seriously.

But he told me that I didn't say hello or goodbye (which was fucking stupid of me, but on the few occasions that he was in the office when I arrived he was always in the middle of a meeting with a More Important Person and I felt foolish interrupting their limited time to say hello--which was fucking stupid of me) and that he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.

OK, that was not fucking stupid. I would've done the same thing and thought I was being considerate and polite by not interrupting, which I'm sure is exactly what you meant it to be. It may have been a personality clash and it may have been a bad fit, but it was NOT your fault and you are NOT stupid.

and that he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.

That is his problem, not yours.

That is his problem, not yours.

Amen. Why does he NEED to know what you're thinking or feeling, as long as you're doing your job?

he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.

Oh God, if I had to work for an asshole like that I'd kill myself. Seriously. My personality? Is not for you, boss-person! I have a right to my own thoughts and feelings!

JZ, take the day, and then think about old job vs. better jobs at old place.