There are a few other jobs posted that I think I might be qualified for, but now I'm stabbinated with self-doubt and saying, "No, no, not that one, I can't handle complex tasks, I'm not capable of taking initiative, they'll want to know why I'm back after such a short time away and I'll have to tell them that I failed in the outside world."
No stabbination! Apply. See what happens. I have a host of other job postings to fling your way, if you want me to. (Okay, so I flung one already.)
It's like acting, right? Think of what just transpired as one of those agonizingly long callbacks - the ones where you get brought back in 6 or 7 separate times (no lie - they do that at the Guthrie). The director could give Darren from Slings & Arrows a run for his money in therms of pretentiousness and pettiness, and so he makes asinine comments to the actors and has ridiculous reasons for not casting them. And then reserves the right to shuffle the cast after the first readthrough.
So - you wouldn't beat yourself up about that one, would you? Even though you threw your heart into the audition? Think of this like that. And go out and audition some more.
he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.
Okay - TOTALLY a Darren-type asshat. Seriously.
But he told me that I didn't say hello or goodbye (which was fucking stupid of me, but on the few occasions that he was in the office when I arrived he was always in the middle of a meeting with a More Important Person and I felt foolish interrupting their limited time to say hello--which was fucking stupid of me) and that he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.
OK, that was not fucking stupid. I would've done the same thing and thought I was being considerate and polite by not interrupting, which I'm sure is exactly what you meant it to be. It may have been a personality clash and it may have been a bad fit, but it was NOT your fault and you are NOT stupid.
and that he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.
That is his problem, not yours.
That is his problem, not yours.
Amen. Why does he NEED to know what you're thinking or feeling, as long as you're doing your job?
he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.
Oh God, if I had to work for an asshole like that I'd kill myself. Seriously. My personality? Is not for you, boss-person! I have a right to my own thoughts and feelings!
JZ, take the day, and then think about old job vs. better jobs at old place.
asshats of the Nth degree ridiculous and unfeeling morons jackholes TOTALLY a Darren-type asshat
Please keep saying things like that. It's very soothing.
And, tommyrot, I am so sorry for hijacking your birthday. You are one of the most awesomest of the Buffistas and totally deserve a birthdaylicious day in Natter.
I blame my ex-bosses.
That guy is a fucking idiot. I've had bosses like that - they suck ass.
he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.
People who talk about how well they read people are very much like (and often overlapping with) people who announce that they're nice guys. Totally a jackwad to get away from.
that he prided himself on being able to read people but he couldn't read me at all and never knew what I was thinking or feeling.
ew ew ew! clingyBossType! clingyNeedyBossType! ew! I guess now we know why the position was open.
um.
ahem. also? Yes to what everyone has said. Apply. Apply lots. If you want a step forward, perhaps talk to oldNotClingyNotInsecureBoss about how you could move forward?
