Dear Overlords of the Fashion Industry, thank you for making black nail polish "in". No longer do ElderGoths have to stock up on their preferred color every October.

Exactly! My nail person keeps a collection of black and dark polish just for me. (The Creative "Imperial Anarchy" line that came out in the fall is amazing) None of her other customers show any interest in the wonderful, dark, spooky colors, ah well, more for me!

I swear to god, I am sitting here in my living room, located in the state of Texas, and I just saw an ad for a Congressional candidate named...John Manlove.

I thought it was a joke. Then they broke out the pictures of the Bible.

John Manlove.

Could be worse. His last name could be Glasscock. (Which is a real last name, I swear.)

My oldest had a teacher named Mrs. Mycock. In middle school.

My oldest had a teacher named Mrs. Mycock. In Middle school

See, that is just asking for trouble. I would have told everyone my name was Mrs. Smith. I mean, I can barely think about it without laughing, and you want 11 year olds to!

Also, I know I have said this here before, but we have a sys admin head named Dick GoDown. His daughter, Heather, oddly works here too, and she procures live pelvic models (people who are paid to have students practice giving pelvic exams) and live proctology models.

Heather, oddly works here too, and she procures live pelvic models (people who are paid to have students practice giving pelvic exams) and live proctology models.

Heather is awesome!

I've mentioned this before, but in college there was a prof. named Richard Face.

I dislike getting manicures and pedicures but I love the outcome of pedicures so much that I'll endure it. I do not want strange hands on me. See also: massages. I've never had one and it sounds like the most awful thing EVAH! Some stranger on my naked parts! NOOOOO!!!

Manlove for Congress.

I love pedicures, but only get them in the summer. And I doubt I'd do it if I lived somewhere where they weren't cheap.

When I get mani I always get them cut short and painted something neutral. That seems low-maintenance and professional-looking to me.

That's what I would be going for with the fakes. Versus my current classy bitten look.

I do the "active length". Sometimes they are very confused when I want the short acrylics. Most people get the acrylics so that they can maintain length. I just want them not to break and for the polish to stay on.