Thanks guys! It was totally terrifying but with a happy ending. And there were some funny moments. For example, believing that I'm having a heart attack? It will not stop me from noticing that the paramedic treating me is really hot. It will also not stop me from wondering why the ambulance is taking LaCienega instead of San Vicente.
Polgara was, as usual, awesome. She dropped everything to go to my house and make sure the paramedics had locked everything up. She also picked up a bunch of stuff for me and brought it to the ER, despite being apparently traumatized by my underwear drawer.
I was honest with the heath care people about my habits and vices, including the smoking. At one point, when I was up in my room and feeling normal again, one of them asked me, "Do you plan to quit smoking?" I replied, "Dude, I've lost 43 pounds. I work out six days a week. I've put a lot of effort into being healthier. And now I'm in a HOSPITAL. I'm afraid to find out what happens if I stop smoking."
The dude assured me that he doubted those things were related. I remain skeptical.
And now I think I'm going to shower for an hour and scrub off any residue from the bajillion electrodes that have been stuck to various parts of my body over the past 28 hours.