Criminals is stupid....

On the news they commented that the check fraud charges were the only ones possible -- nothing else they did was illegal.

Which somehow cracks me up. And makes me want to (with full permission of the deceased of course) take a fresh corpse on one last joyride.

Jason Michael Fife "understands that in a civilized society a person cannot send a severed cow's head to anybody," said his defense lawyer, Henry Hilles.

Right, you need to deliver a servered cow's head in person to give it that special touch. Bonus points if it turns up in the bed of a sleeping dairy executive.

(sorry, Jondalar!)

Well, he does have the Massive Member, and you don't want to hurt yourself, so chucking is probably the best option.

Oddly enough, the cow-head-mailing guy ended up reconciling with his wife....

F racecar drivers
C soccer players
M sailors

I assume sailors means like yachting or yacht racing and not Navy. And as much as I dig drivers? They seem to make lousy husbands. Why do I feel the need to justify the merely F'ing and not M'ing of racers?

Oddly enough, the cow-head-mailing guy ended up reconciling with his wife....

Maybe it was the dozen roses he had sticking out of the neck stump.

the amount he spends is gonna be more than she makes, at least for the sex he might have with her at the whorehouse

She's not just doing him, though. Her nightly take is liable to be larger than what he spends.

She's not just doing him, though. Her nightly take is liable to be larger than what he spends.

Well yeah, I was referring to just the sex that he might have with her (or some other prostitute.) So to maximize their money, she should continue to work "outside the home" during the time she's not having sex with her husband.

Maybe it was the dozen roses he had sticking out of the neck stump.

He mailed the cow's head to his wife's lover, not his wife.

D'oh. Second reading comprehension error I've made and posted on in the last five minutes (points to Boxed Set).