Buffy ,'Potential'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Around Christmas, I was playing one of those games where you have to get the people to say a word or phrase by giving clues. One of my clues made everyone laugh like crazy and is still in use.
Clue: "Something happened. Of course it happened!"
Answer: Murphy's Law
{{Nora}} Strength to you and yours
bonny, thank you for sharing. As to your experience with the support group, I once dropped out of one because I felt it was encouraging me (and possibly the others) to keep the outlook of being victims. With all the talk of being "survivors" we were still talking about things that had happened TO us rather than what we were DOING. So ... I chose another way to go. And it was better for me.
And happy birthday Beverly! may it be full of shiny things!
I had a coworker whose husband died- they knew it was going to happen - they found out he was HIV positive just before they got married. ( this was still in the earlier days) . she went to a support group after his death, but left it pretty quickly because they were encouraging her to wallow and mourn - and the major thing she had learned from her life with her husband - was to keep going/doing , because you don't know how much time you have.
I had my first therapy session today. I like the therapist. Don't like therapy. Hope I can actually do the work and make it better. Less about the jackass, more about other stuff. The part that makes me want to hide or shirk thinks it was useless. The rest of me hopes that part doesn't win.
All of me hopes to not cry on my patients today.
Not to speak for her, but erika has also talked about some of the negative effects - particularly the validating stasis - that can occur in support groups.
we were still talking about things that had happened TO us rather than what we were DOING.
Very much this.
That same minister I mentioned above did a talk on how taking the words 'to me' off the end of our accusatory statements would make life so much easier.
I can't believe you did that to me!
becomes
I can't believe you did that!
A subtle distinction, I suppose, but a useful one for making way for something more powerful.
The newest chapter of my book is "what we can't let be okay is what is standing in our way". By NO means excusing bad behavior, but, rather focusing on what value you can get from your experience. Without doing so...kinda makes the suffering a waste...you know?
Happpy Birthday, Beverly!