That's a really great idea. That would be somebody neutral and non-threatening, and also who would be capable of dealing with the emotional fallout if necessary.

That's an awesome idea. It gets sticky because, well ... he's a pretty bigwig alumnus at her college and I don't think he'd appreciate his "dirty laundry" being aired via his alma mater.

I'm really not trying to ask for advice and then shoot it all down, I'm trying to keep the hurt down on all sides (including mine) as much as possible.

And can I be selfish for a second and say that I resent the fuck out of having to be the bigger person in all of this? Even if I choose to NOT write Sister, I still have to be the bigger person in trying not to give up my power to him by wasting ebergy hating him when sometimes, doing that takes just as much energy as hating him would.

t /angry girl

I want to know my sister and I don't want to hurt her either directly or indirectly, but I'm having a hard time coming up with ways that will make tht a possibility, which means it can't be done and I know that and ... I'm rambling and being boring again.

I'm an only child. There. I just decided.

No. No decisions right now. You need to let this mull for a while and get comfortable with even the knowledge you have right now, which you haven't really had a chance to do yet. Then you can think about next steps some more.

I'd also urge you to check the College schedule, and make sure she won't be getting the letter right before or during finals. Senior year is stressful enough, as it is.

I understand the stickiness, but speaking in confidence to a social relations professional would not be "airing his dirty laundry" to the school. A counselor or a chaplain would have lots of experience in dealing with delicate matters.

Seconding brenda's no decisions policy. You're free to have whatever response you have. We just want to make sure you get the most out of your decision. Give yourself some time and space to feel and react.

This is a big deal.

he's a pretty bigwig alumnus at her college and I don't think he'd appreciate his "dirty laundry" being aired via his alma mater.

I'd go with the chaplain or the counselor. they have a professional obligation to maintain confidentiality, so you wouldnt have to worry about it becoming campus gossip unless she chose to share.

Good lords, it's thunderstorming.

Here, too.

Just started.

We had wicked fog all day, though. I half-expected to see a giant foot appear, and find myself in a monster movie.

I half-expected to see a giant foot appear, and find myself in a monster movie.

I half expected this to be a Python reference.

Aimee, not that my opinion counts for much because your situation is unlike any I have found myself in, but I would hate to see you give up on your desire to know your sister unless and until she herself vetoes it. If we are overwhelming you with worry about your bio-dad's reaction, that's not what anyone wants. I don't know how to even comment on this, but whatever you decide, may you have your usual good form steadying your path.

Aimee, I meant to say earlier that I think the letter is beautiful. And yeah, take a break, take a breath, and deal with decisions later. Hugs.