I've gotta say, the IRS reps I've dealt with (and I've dealt with a fair few) have been unfailingly professional, pleasant, and helpful. It makes dealing with their employer much easier.

I've had the same experience with the feds.

NYS tax guys, however, are disorganized, rude, and nearly wound up costing me money. I kept (politely) telling them they someone should talk to the IRS about how to actually do this.

The IRS in Cincy (well, right across the river in Kentucky) has been overrun by bedbugs.

Some sort of Gypsy curse?

You can't make this stuff up.

I've gotta say, the IRS reps I've dealt with (and I've dealt with a fair few) have been unfailingly professional, pleasant, and helpful. It makes dealing with their employer much easier.

Except for a horrible problem I had about 25 years ago, this has always been the case in my experience.

In that particular scenario, all it took was a call to my congressman's office...the IRS liaison that every federally elected official has I'm given to understand...and that horrifying, 18 month problem was solved in a a DAY.

You can't make this stuff up.

Cincy never had a river catch on fire, did it? So you got that going for you.

But 99 times out of 100 that never occurs to a customer to do.

Some of us do it a lot. even when I'm calling a place to have a wrong charge reversed.

Yeah, I had to call AT&T about my DSL bill the other day. Because I don't have a phone through them, entering my phone number into the system as required does precisely jack and shit, because my phone number is not linked to anything in their systems. So it keeps requesting the phone number. Again and again. It took forever to get through to a person, and by that time I was just livid. So of course the first thing she asks for is my phone number and...

I didn't flip my shit. It's not her fault. But I can't have been very pleasant to deal with because at that point I'm barking out my answers, talking over her, not in a frame of mind to actually listen to anything.

I mean, bad enough that people already are pissed or they wouldn't be calling you. And then it's like corporate's been poking them with hot sticks for ten minutes before they even get to you. No wonder it's unpleasant.

And then it's like corporate's been poking them with hot sticks for ten minutes before they even get to you. No wonder it's unpleasant.

This is a tough one. It's a real struggle to not let the vitriol spill over. I endeavor never to say things like 'you people', even when I feel it because, obviously, the CS rep didn't design the phone hell. Usually, I sympathize with 'wow, you must get a lot of angry people who have to deal with x. This clearly isn't about you, BUT I am really angry and I need help.' It's amazing how often that works.

What would have been better than the proverbial cookie? Except for a rating system where you get monetary increases or bonuses, is there anything else that would reduce the suck?

Well, money's always welcome.

See, the thing is...the year-end bonus/raise system was janked all to hell anyway. Your bonus (when I worked there) was a max of $250.00. Which, hey...$250.00. Okay.

But that was assuming an absolutely perfect year. No absences, absolute adherence to your work schedule (this being a call center this was closely monitored...you had not only scheduled lunches but scheduled breaks...e.g., you can go smoke a cigarette at 7:45 am and 2:15 pm. Your cubicle mate would have different break times to maximize phone coverage and minimize fraternization or fun), 100% perfect Quality Assurance scores (they would randomly sample x number of calls a week and grade them. There were certain "beats" you had to hit every single time and certain phrases or words you should use or COULD NOT use), average call time, average "after call work" time...many parameters. NOBODY got a full bonus EVER.

This same system was used to figure out your (max 3%) raise. My first end-of-year there I got the full 3% because I achieved a score in the high 90s, but my bonus was a) pro-rated because I hadn't yet been there a full year and b) janked even further by my failure to achieve ABSOLUTE 100% PERFECTION.

So the occasional "atta boys" or "best thing since the opposable thumb" calls should have, in my opinion, counted to up your overall score. THAT's incentive.

Or, if you don't have to deal with a draconian system like Variable Annuity company had, a straight "$5 per 'atta-rep'" bonus would also rock, either monthly or yearly.

But that was assuming an absolutely perfect year. No absences, absolute adherence to your work schedule (this being a call center this was closely monitored...you had not only scheduled lunches but scheduled breaks...e.g., you can go smoke a cigarette at 7:45 am and 2:15 pm. Your cubicle mate would have different break times to maximize phone coverage and minimize fraternization or fun), 100% perfect Quality Assurance scores (they would randomly sample x number of calls a week and grade them. There were certain "beats" you had to hit every single time and certain phrases or words you should use or COULD NOT use), average call time, average "after call work" time...many parameters. NOBODY got a full bonus EVER.

Oh good lord. Well, there you go. That is a perfect illustration of a) HELL and b) your earlier comment that customer satisfaction is not the point. Any 'incentive' system that measures on such a granular level and does not consistently take into account more positive than negative indicators is clearly based on keeping the rats cost-effective, period.

I like the $5 atta-boy idea. That is actually cost effective in terms of customer retention and good word of mouth, right?

Ugh. Here lies my rationale for doing what I do rather than working in the corporate world. It just makes no sense to me.

Ugh. Here lies my rationale for doing what I do rather than working in the corporate world. It just makes no sense to me.

The corporate world makes no sense to anybody. The Joker would look at corporate life and say "Wow, see, that's crazy."

It's a push-me-pull-you thing. Companies want the customers, or at least the customers' money, but they don't want to give them anything. Corporations only begrudgingly give the stuff they want to sell. In a perfect corporate world, people would just line up to hand executives cash without taking anything away, and the workers would slave away for nothing.

So they try to attract customers by saying "Our product is the bee's knees and, furthermore, if it's not the bee's knees our talented, dedicated, happy-to-serve-you Customer Service staff will bee-kneeify it for you!" But when it comes time to bee-kneeify it, the CS rep who takes your call is probably under-trained, frustrated and has no incentive whatsoever to give forth with knees for any insect, flying or otherwise. And even if they did desire to kneeify your bee, they probably aren't allowed to...that would cost honey. I mean, money.

So they try to trick not only the customer, but the CS rep: "What you do is worthwhile. But we don't respect you enough to give you any solid reward or encouragement for doing it particularly well. Also, any attempt to give actual help will be frowned upon and you may be sanctioned. Now let them hear the smile in your voice when you pick up the phone or we will fire you and you will starve and die. And say 'Have a nice day' they like that."