Thanks, Sean.

It's just...when I talked to that financial counselor a few weeks ago, I was so full of hope, you know? I thought we'd finally found the solution, and I took for granted that I had a good credit score, because I'd always paid on time, never missed a payment, etc. I knew it wouldn't be perfect because of the debt, but I'd still thought it would be around average.

Granted, I don't KNOW that getting a loan from a credit union to pay off the debts is impossible with such a low credit score. But I'm kinda assuming it is. And if we can't...I don't know what we're going to do, short of going to a credit counselor and getting into a debt management program, and if we do that, is our credit EVER going to be fit for us to buy a house or anything else we might want to do?

I haven't called the credit card company, but I've already gone online and made a payment, so as soon as it posts, I'll be back under the limit again. I just don't feel like I'm up for talking to them right now. I know I couldn't do it without crying. So unless there's something I can do now that wouldn't be an option the first week of January (I can't call next week because I'll be at my mom's, and no WAY am I going to let her know how bad things are), I'd rather wait.

if your credit card interest is high

That's the big issue. Our credit card interest rates are pretty high. I tried to argue them down once, but kept getting railroaded around and told it was impossible and having my efforts to talk to someone higher up refused, and I just gave up.

I just wanted the loan so bad because it would've lowered our monthly payments enough that we'd be able to start setting cash aside...and then we wouldn't have to use the credit cards every time something out of budget like a broken computer or a car needing new tires happened.

Susan, wait to find out whether you CAN get the loan before you worry. You don't know--it may still be possible. If not, you can raise your credit score over the next could of years and still end up where you want to be in five years' time.

When I am in the place where you are Susan - I try and come up with as many alternate plans as I can, Susan.

and put a time frame on things - the loan was going to get you out in 3 yrs ( if you stopped using the cards) So maybe 6 years with no loan - but if no loan today - maybe in a year you will.

I wish there was a faster way, but it doesn't work that way.

Well, we have to do SOMETHING no matter what--get a loan, get a payment plan through credit counseling, or just go on one hell of an austerity plan and make ourselves stick with it.

I just have a hard time not freaking out over the unknowns. Big flaw of mine, unfortunately. I think it's the downside of being good at researching things and being all analytical and decisive when I do have information. Something like this happening on the Saturday before Christmas is the worst possible timing for me, because I have so long to theorize ahead of my data and imagine worst-case scenarios.

I've got to work on the cycles of panic, tears, and self-loathing this leads to. Let's just say it's not helping me and DH communicate well and work together on money issues.

the loan was going to get you out in 3 yrs

It was more like five years....

It was more like five years....

whatever. The point being if you can't do it this year you can work on a plan to do it next year - putting you only a year behind - you have options. one set back ( or even one more setback ) doesn't have to change the long term goal.

sorry, the whatever sounded harsher than I meant - I just wanted to re direct your thoughts

Well, I am wondering if I have to give up on the part of my long-term goal that's going to Europe in 2015. It's a small thing, and it's largely symbolic...but symbolic targets matter, you know? I've been telling myself that we can do this, we'll be out of debt by 2013 or so and have time to save for the trip, that the debt is tough but I'm tougher, and (because I'm such a big history DORK) the debt is Napoleon but I'm Wellington, etc.

I don't think you have o give up on the dream - who knows where you'll be in 2015? Maybe something will matter more. Maybe it can only be a 10 day trip instead of 15. I think you'll know better in 2013. and I think having a big fun goal makes it so much easier to sacrifice now.

and my bathroom cleaning has come to a halt because I need a third hand. DH should be home soon. I could keep cleaning and just hang stuff up when he gets here, but the internets and tv are more fun.