Dear MM,
If you're taking Christmas orders, I would like the nuclear thingamajob. And shrift. And if Suzi would let me borrow the transporter, I swear no one (whom we know) will get cut.
I've been mostly good. I've been grammatically correct. And I've used 'pejorative' and 'suck' in the same sentence.
oh, and I would like a faster-working St. Joseph's statue puh-leeze. Mine's busted.
Sincerely,
sox
Dear [insert name here] SuziQ
Thank you for your interest in Miracleman Technologies! We have had a very exciting year in terms of advancement of side-projects and, of course, our massive relocation of our World Headquarters! All in all, 2007 has been a roller-coaster ride, with exciting results!
Of course, due to the incredible and exciting fluctuations in our business model and exciting plans, there have been some minor delays with certain projects. And for this, we are extremely excitingly apologetic.
Be assured, we continue our exciting research into [insert project here] Matter Transportation! We expect many exciting and wondrous results in 2008, including, possibly, success!
So please be patient. And thank you for your exciting interest in Miracleman Technologies! We're very excited! You should be excited, too!
BE EXCITED, CURSE YOU!
Signed,
MM
Sole Proprietor and Overlord
Miracleman Technologies
Dear Sox,
See above letter to SuziQ.
MM
Sole Proprietor and Overlord
Miracleman Technologies
I love this quote from the woman who owns the goats:
“I kind of thought if anyone was caught having sex in public, it could have been me,” Carol Medenhall said.
And yes, the Dibble city council needs to attend a Dictionary 101 class if they think "on private land" and "in public" are the same place.
What if you have a TV that you can see through a window that's showing Animal Planet. Does that count?
What if you have a TV that you can see through a window that's showing Animal Planet. Does that count?
Well, in the future this won't be a problem, as we will soon have the technology to digitally add underpants to all animals on TV.
Lemme guess - the boy is named Dennis Mitchell and the 60-year-old is George Wilson?
Yeah, because nothing hazardous ever happens on ski slopes unless an eight year old does something crazy.
Colorado has laws limiting the liability of the ski resorts. I wonder if they have similar laws for other skiers?