Ow shrift! Can you walk on it now? You should totally ice it.

You know what's awesome?

Aleve.

I've had this back thing happenin' for the last week and a half or so. Sciatic nerve being ground to pulp, shooting pains down my left leg, blah blah blah.

Today I remembered we had a couple Aleve in the medicine stash. "What the hell," thought I. "I'll give anything a shot."

Dudes. DUDES. Pain drastically reduced and what pain there is is being taken care of by the "It's there, but I don't care" effect that I usually experience only with Vicodin or similar.

So, it's like Vicodin, but without the stoned.

I would happily do a commercial right now for this product.

"Aleve helped my back pain. I'm taking it right now And It's Fucking Great!!"

Narrator: "Aleve. It's Fucking Great. Pleasetakeresponsibly."

Can you ice it? Elevate it?

Hey, Allyson, I saw your book prominently displayed at Virgin Megastore today. Which ain't shabby several months after its publication, so maybe a surge in xmas/channukah sales.

That's awesome!

I think sales are still going pretty well, for a little book. Maybe I'll have a second printing. Maybe fluffy pink unicorns made of cotton candy will bring me a latte.

At work. No ice. Maybe can elevate, but really don't want to extend my knee.

Really should have stayed in bed.

Maybe fluffy pink unicorns made of cotton candy will bring me a latte.

Damn. Too bad Noah isn't old enough to drive and that we threw away his pink unicorn costume.

I am uninspired today.

I'm also in my office, with the door shut and the space heater on. Yes. Space heater. Every place I spend time this year has been the site of one of my purchased space heaters. how many have I purchased this year? 4. YES. Four.

My co-workers think I am a ROCK STAR. Our server is on life support, yet we aren't installing a new one until December 30. Why are we waiting to take care of something that is crucial to the continued existence of our product? No one knows.

In any case, Chatty!co-worker's Mac has the largest hard drive in my department, so he copied all our relevant files onto his hard drive (which is, like, 500-600 files, literally), and has been, for the last week and a half, e-mailing files back and forth between 4 of us so that we can work on them. But because we all work on a different file, at our own pace, it's resulted in him being interrupted about every 10 minutes: "[Chatty], can you e-mail me this? [Chatty], can you e-mail me that? [Chatty], I'm e-mailing you a new version of the file I e-mailed you 2 hours ago, make sure you overwrite the one on your hard drive," etc.

Imagine the possibilities for fuck-ups.

Anyway. I just networked our 4 computers (3 Macs, 1 PC running Windows XP), using Chatty's Mac as the "server," in about 5 minutes, because Macs are MADE OF AWESOME.

My co-workers are looking at me as if I just created life out of the primordial ooze.

At work. No ice. Maybe can elevate, but really don't want to extend my knee.

I realize going out to get an ice pack would require walking. Can you get someone to make a drugstore run? Can you steal something from a refrigerator?

I am alone in the office today, in the basement, three levels below ground.

I'll be fine. I'll just, you know, be walking funny all day.

My co-workers are looking at me as if I just created life out of the primordial ooze.

You should demand a statue built in your honor!