Ugh Stephanie! I remember that. They should make desks with cutouts. Er. Or find a way to pull out your keyboard better. Hope you're feeling ok otherwise?

grr, the commuter rail in my neck of the woods is FUBAR'd and my nice neighbors have offered to take me to a relatively nearby subway line. However, these very nice neighbors are TAKING THEIR DAMN SWEET TIME ABOUT it and I'm frustrated. ugh.

I was wondering how you'd make out on the commute today. I got lucky - a train was sitting at Salem station when I got there (always a bad sign because I could see it sitting there when I was five minutes away), but it left not too long after it ordinarily would have anyway (now if only the driver hadn't blown past Swampscott and then had to back up). I think our commute's only going to be slightly more FUBAR than usual tonight - it's anybody Beverly or north of that who's SOL.

Thanks, Sox. I'm mostly fine - just tired. And this baby is more squirmy than I remember with Ellie.

I am ready to kill me some cow-workers up in here. STABBY MCFUCKIN STAB!

I may have to alter what is rapidly becoming my signature sound effect.

*Stabby McFuckin' stab stab!* *SPLURCHsqueeky*

No. No, Joe, no. Never, ever change your signature sound effect. I don't know about anyone else, but I am rapidly coming to depend on the peculiar consolation that *Stabby McFuckin' stab stab!* *SPLURCHsqueeky* provides.

Work today is going to be... super meh! Most people are working on a 10-hour/9-day schedule with every other Friday off, which will surely rock in coming years but doesn't work at all for households with two working parents and wee children. So it'll be very, very silent today. I plan to (a) purge the 80 billion files left behind by my predecessor's predecessor, (b) finish Matilda's stocking, and (c) drink all the coffee in the building.

Also possibly have a decent lunch. Yesterday was supposed to be the admin dim sum lunch, but for some reason it got changed to the admin overpriced yuppie bistro lunch (the place may actually have been called "b: a bistro").

Some people had flank steak approximately the size of an extra-large egg; some people had charred press sandwiches; I had something almost, but not entirely, unlike Greek salad (no cucumber, but yes potato? WTF?).

After our plates were cleared we all sat around sadly looking at each other and realized, all at the same time, that we were still INCREDIBLY FUCKING HUNGRY, so hungry we could have eaten each other, except we were around the corner from the Metreon instead of lost in the howling Arctic. We got dessert to stave off the worst of the pangs, and my thoughts on taking my first bite of cheesecake were, "Huh. This is pretty okay. I'd forgotten how much I like cheesecake. Gee, I wish I had some cheesecake."

Today, better lunch. Which shouldn't be hard. The bar is now set very, very low indeed.

Also, i::pushes Stephanie's desk back just a bit, pads her navel with soft cotton batting::

No. No, Joe, no. Never, ever change your signature sound effect. I don't know about anyone else, but I am rapidly coming to depend on the peculiar consolation that *Stabby McFuckin' stab stab!* *SPLURCHsqueeky* provides.

Well, I meant that the sound effect WAS:

*Stabbity stab stab!* *SPLURCH!squeeky*

It could NOW be:

*Stabby McFuckin' stab stab!* *SPLURCH!squeeky*

In any incarnation there shall ever be *SPLURCH!squeeky*

The "squeeky" is important, as it tells you there's enough friction to hold the head in place....

For me, it's the SPLURCH! that really makes it sing.

And McFuckin' is a great addition to the effect. It really adds that je ne sais quoi.

For me, it's the SPLURCH! that really makes it sing.

Yes, the SPLURCH is essential too.

The whole thing really is much better than the sum of its parts.

Okay, then, we're all agreed: *Stabby McFuckin' stab stab* *SPLURCH!squeeky* is the new pink.