No. No, Joe, no. Never, ever change your signature sound effect. I don't know about anyone else, but I am rapidly coming to depend on the peculiar consolation that *Stabby McFuckin' stab stab!* *SPLURCHsqueeky* provides.
Work today is going to be... super meh! Most people are working on a 10-hour/9-day schedule with every other Friday off, which will surely rock in coming years but doesn't work at all for households with two working parents and wee children. So it'll be very, very silent today. I plan to (a) purge the 80 billion files left behind by my predecessor's predecessor, (b) finish Matilda's stocking, and (c) drink all the coffee in the building.
Also possibly have a decent lunch. Yesterday was supposed to be the admin dim sum lunch, but for some reason it got changed to the admin overpriced yuppie bistro lunch (the place may actually have been called "b: a bistro").
Some people had flank steak approximately the size of an extra-large egg; some people had charred press sandwiches; I had something almost, but not entirely, unlike Greek salad (no cucumber, but yes potato? WTF?).
After our plates were cleared we all sat around sadly looking at each other and realized, all at the same time, that we were still INCREDIBLY FUCKING HUNGRY, so hungry we could have eaten each other, except we were around the corner from the Metreon instead of lost in the howling Arctic. We got dessert to stave off the worst of the pangs, and my thoughts on taking my first bite of cheesecake were, "Huh. This is pretty okay. I'd forgotten how much I like cheesecake. Gee, I wish I had some cheesecake."
Today, better lunch. Which shouldn't be hard. The bar is now set very, very low indeed.
Also, i::pushes Stephanie's desk back just a bit, pads her navel with soft cotton batting::