I will come up as soon as I have time and money to do so.

Free place to stay, complete with all the geeky toys, comics, and games that ND could want!

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complete with all the geeky toys, comics, and games that ND could want!

Well...and you. Duh. Miss you, silly! Where in the city are you, again?

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It could be worse. My parents are in a box in my sister's basement because she can't bring herself to actually do something with the ashes.

Yep...my grandmother died about a year ago, and my mom was explaining to me that they were not planning a funeral (who would come, besides my mom and her sister and their husbands/kids? No point). But that we would probably scatter her ashes in Chicago in the spring, along with grandpa's. I was like "....isn't grandpa already somewhere??" and her response was "Yes. The back of your aunt's closet." (He'd been dead for...over ten years at that point??).

Of course, no ash-scattering has yet happened, so I have this sneaking suspicion that when my mom or aunt pass away, we'll be going through stuff and have to be all "Maaaan, I don't even know WHOSE ashes these are!"

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When I first got a life insurance policy through a job, I named my sister as beneficiary, on the grounds that she would likely be the one making arrangements anyway. My instructions to her were, "Dispose of the body as cheaply as you can, and have a big party with the rest of the money."

d and beth, thanks for the input on the issue I asked for help with. I'm leaning toward taking the position, knowing ahead of time it will be a whole lot less fun than my current situation. But I know I can do the work, and I believe I can find a way to deal with the extra stress. And I'm hoping that the rewards will be worth the fuss and bother.

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(He'd been dead for...over ten years at that point??).

That's the ridiculous thing. My mom's been dead for almost twenty years. My father died about eight years ago, so my sister has had both sets of ashes for that long. Crazy.

Kristin, I live in West Portal, the southwest section of the city, just on the other side of the mountains from downtown, but conveniently located on 3 MUNI lines.

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Glad to hear the wedding went well, Aimee!

My grandfather was cremated and his ashes were scattered up at his ranch. The horse my uncle was riding threw him and the ashes were strewn a bit less decorously than planned, but we all agreed that Grandpa would've gotten a kick out of that.

Grandma, also cremated, we buried under an oak sapling in the meadow my parents are restoring/managing. Unfortunately, the tree died, but presumably the ashes are still down there and we can put another one on top. Grandma would not be pleased, but what can you do?

We scattered some of my friend's ashes on the Mississippi during his wake. We also all ate some of his ashes. It seemed like a good idea at the time. This was after a lot of whiskey and singing and bagpipes, there was not a lot of rational thinking involved. I don't regret it, exactly, but I don't know that I'd choose to do it again.

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Ray Cole on The Wire had the Pogues. Something with "American"in the title. That was a beautiful moment. (/The Wire likes Irish Carrots)

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I think I'll be cremated, have people be present for the actual incineration for which the actual music would be "smoke gets in your eyes". (Or maybe "we didn't start the fire".) I need to create a form that I update regularly, specifying into whose face my still smoldering ashes are actually tossed.

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We buried our Irish Wolfhound's ashes under a bush and it thrived. I wonder if the people who live in our old house now have any idea that both yards are the cemetaries for three dogs, three hamsters and assorted gerbils. My first rat Dieter's ashes are in my closet. I haven't yet found an urn that seemed fitting for him. He died in 1990 I think.

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erika, sorry you were dealing with crap from your dad. I would volunteer to come out there and cluestick him for you if it would help.

Aimee, glad you survived the wedding and Snowpocolypse!

DH and I are definitely in the cremation camp. I sort of like the emotional closure that funerals provide but DH wants no service--just a party.

My FiL doesn't want to donate his organs but my MiL had a brother who was saved by a liver transplant. I once heard her tell my FiL that nobody would ask him after he was dead and it was up to her to decide what to do about organ donation, if FiL died first.

The way I see it, these rituals aren't for the dead--they're for the living and I think that whatever makes my family feel better in the end is ok with me. I may leave requests but they're more guidelines than rules, in case anyone can't make a decision. But really, I don't think I'll care much.

I'm still secretly hoping for a viking funeral if they can pull if off, though.

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