Teppy, that kind of question comes up with me and Hubby frequently. He *knows* the question upsets me, but to his mind his concern over my health--which is demonstrably not good and definitely weight related--trumps my desire not to be treated like an idiot who doesn't know about the health issues. He becomes consumed with worry, and he lacks the primitive tact not to bring it up because he's a guy and *must do something*.
Well, we had just gotten back from vacation (not *that* day; but within the week), and I think he perceived me as huffing and puffing too much while walking around San Francisco's hilly streets. Plus there's the whole, you know, rampant heart disease in my dad's family.
When we discussed it, I pointed out that there are PLENTY of skinny people who huff and puff their ways around San Francisco's hills, and probably plenty of overweight people who zip up the hills with nary a wheeze. (I'm *lazy,* but not unhealthy.)
Which he got, but still. I can't stop thinking that it's about whether I'm attractive and whether he'll stop loving me.
The growing/compromise/acceptance thing sucks great big stinky donkey balls
Man, truer words were never typed.
My boy once told me boobs could be bigger. I told him his dick could be bigger.
Boys, they are the stupid sometimes.
Boys, they are the stupid sometimes.
Wrod.
Hubby's most current thing is the grey in my hair. That one could get him smacked eventually. I think it would be cooler than anything if my hair had white streaks, but not so much him. Which is funny, because he initially thought it was dumb when I decided to color my hair on a whim.
Last night the power went out twice, there were two cat-in- heat episodes which drives my dogs crazy, and a car alarm woke me up at 4:30.
That's a drag. But with any luck you'll end up with Puptens (or is it Kitpies?) and that would be cool.
Tom is very much on the shy/unchatty/excessively quiet side of things. But if he's given conversation opportunity (and beer) chances are he can warm up to it. Takes a while though, so he generally does not get into conversations with other shy folks. So much silence!
Huh. That totally applies to this Tom as well....
This is the essence of the Buffista Tom! At one point we had four of you adorable shy things that would kill us once you finally opened your mouths.
Remember how y'all mocked me over wrestling the girl for an Oreo?
Well, I'm working from home today. With extra pillows. I'm a wuss.
Sooo... you want us to mock you
more
?
Aw Tep. That one's a bitch.
But maybe talking about it (once you move past barfy stage) will help in working it through. Because there's the painful situation, and then there's the shame about it happening. I think even lessening the shame aspect may help a little.
This. All of this. Nora is wise.
I think he phrased his concern in a completely dumb-ass and horribly WRONG manner, but from how you've described him since the two of you have been together, I would tend to believe that he was still speaking out of concern.
Mostly what I wanted to say though is that I'm *so* glad you're not holding all of that emotional pain locked up inside of yourself anymore. I can only imagine the field day that any lurking Body Image Demons were having trying to confuse you even more. Just know that the Boy fell in love with YOU - not one particular part of you, no matter what the BID's say.
ION ~ I have no desire to tackle the rest of my to-do list. None. Maybe coffee will help. Today might need to be a caramel macchiato day.
Tep, since his remark sprang directly from you getting winded in SF, it sounds like it could be health-related for him. The DH has a bad back and when he was bigger (by 60 or so lbs) I found him just as attractive, but I really wanted him to lose the weight just so he could feel better and do more. Which I never told him, but I know he knew it. Still, if the DH said something like that to me, I would be in a state for much LONGER than three hours, so I think you handled it well.
I would be in a state for much LONGER than three hours, so I think you handled it well.
Oh, my state of not-coping lasted for much longer, even past the point at which we sat down and talked it through.
It's just that my inability to form coherent sentences or to stop weeping lasted for 3 hours. Then I think I was dehydrated.
Tep, since his remark sprang directly from you getting winded in SF, it sounds like it could be health-related for him. The DH has a bad back and when he was bigger (by 60 or so lbs) I found him just as attractive, but I really wanted him to lose the weight just so he could feel better and do more. Which I never told him, but I know he knew it. Still, if the DH said something like that to me, I would be in a state for much LONGER than three hours, so I think you handled it well.
Scrappy is wise.
(We can say "Scrappy is wise" again! This makes me inordinately happy)
