Mom is upset that Meg has decided to skip Christmas if the asshate is not welcome. Mom is trying to facilitate him being accepted at family gatherings. I told Mom that I would try but that I could not guarantee that I would keep my mouth shut around him, especially if he provoked me.
The problem is: if Meg is intending to end this relationship then yeah, I see no reason why I should ever have to see this guy again. If Meg is intending to spend the rest of her life with him then I would prefer to be reconciled. Unfortunately, the last time Mom and I tried to sit down and work things out with the asshate was the time I found out that he considers me to be a non-person.
Mom is hoping that the rest of the family will be able to help us decide what is the best course of action. Thanksgiving seems like the ideal time (to her) because it's the only time we'll all be together.
So the asshate rules thanksgiving, too.
I do understand what your mom is trying to do. and I respect your position. Quite frankly - unless papers are filed , you have to assume your sister is staying with him. But he can't rule every holiday.
I understand your mom being upset, but you all are grownups now. Meg is choosing her own family. Maybe one Christmas apart would be good for everyone.
Anyway, back to this Thursday . It is mom's house, she can invite who she wants. You will be on your best behavior - but that means you won't take any garbage from him either. You will do you best not to distress mom ( I'm not sure what is acceptable behavior in your family , but you know where the lines are) but you can't guarantee that you will stay the whole time ( make plans for xmas if it gets to bad). Tell mom now, and don't get involved in any turkey day debate. ( easier said than done) Just refuse to address the subject. You know how you feel, you know what you prefer, but you also know how you wish to behave even if things don't go your way.
Thus endedth the lecture. I love Thanksgiving. A day put aside for appreciating what you have. I hate that so many people have evil thanksgivings
I just made the cranberry sauce
beth is so wise, she deserves all the sugar free chocolates ever.
The asshate will not be at Thanksgiving. What Mom is trying to facilitate is Meg being at Christmas but yes beth is very wise and I am going to mention to Mom that maybe Meg not being there for Christmas would be a good thing.
Totally other topic, here is a video of a big bear lion hug: [link]
Beth_B has wise advice. I'd lean towards the proverbial High Road (nooo, not that kind of high!). Kill with kindness, so that when he starts acting like an asshat, it wasn't provoked by you, and thus shows Meg (hopefully) and rest of family how much of an asshat he really is. If he's not an asshat for the day, BONUS! You had a nice T-day then. Family is very important to you. Don't block it out. It's a practical request, that while the family is there to deal with the issue. Make sure to say at the END of the day, so as to use any transgressions of the day against him.
ETA- cross post, I see he's not to be there. Dunno what to say. Either way, chin up. It's family, and you love them... don't push them away.
I'd lean towards the proverbial High Road (nooo, not that kind of high!)
I've heard that kind of high can be useful for getting through the holidays too, but wouldn't know. :)
beth is so wise, she deserves all the sugar free chocolates ever.
lucky me !
and in diabetes news--- blah blah blah - even though hate is too strong a word --- I am in major hate with it right now. My old meter broke. I now have a new meter - and my control, which has always been good is gone. I looked at the scale - and that is part of the problem. I've been arguing with my meter for two weeks. Today , I decided to go back to FitDay.com - for food tracking. Eve before I posted anything my control looked better today. Part of me wonders if it is because I still have the aftereffects of a three week ( or four week, depending on who you talk to ) cold. Or if just took me a few weeks to get my head in the right place to take control. What fun just before the holiday season. At least I have 'til April before I have to deal with the idea of MORE medication.
and I didn't think he was going to be there at Thanksgiving - but his presence will be there -- and he only get one holiday in my book.
I have chocolate penguins from L.A. Burdick's. They are too cute to eat.
