My boss just keeps asking me for things I don't know and often don't even have access to, and it's becoming clearer and clearer she thinks I'm terrible at my job! And I'm NOT, I swear! It's just what SHE thinks my job is isn't what everyone else has been having me do since I got here. (I've been here since 6/1;she's been here since 10/1.)

I just hate this! Until she got here I thought I'd finally found the job that offered me the right balance of self-respect and pay without asking so much of a commitment that I can't write. And now it's turning into yet another House of Soulsuck. And I know at least part of the problem has to lie with me, or I wouldn't have so much trouble in so many jobs. But I don't know what to do about it.

ugh, Susan. That is just a no-win situation. Is there any way to sit down with her now that she's been here for a little bit, and go over exactly what you've been doing, and what stuff she's expecting? Maybe coached in that way, she'll see that you're willing to take new stuff on, and you can take the opportunity to emphasize NEW STUFF.

Nora is wise, Susan. It sounds like she doesn't know your job or the place very well, yet (if she's asking you for things to which you don't have access), and I'd be willing to bet she's having moments with her online buddies where she thinks she'll never get the hang of her job because she thinks everyone in your office thinks she's an idiot for not knowing what you have access to and what you don't.

Could you maybe go out to lunch with here and have a low-pressure conversation instead of a formal meeting?

She's actually asked all the staff to answer a sort of questionnaire about how we see our roles and responsibilities and so on. And she wants it by tomorrow, which I don't know how I'm going to get to, because I'm compiling some October statistics for her which she ALSO wants for tomorrow, and I can tell she was just amazed and appalled that I wasn't already compiling such monthly statistics, because to her that's just an obvious part of an operations manager's role.

I think she sees the "operations" in my title and thinks I'm number-cruncher-in-chief, while I see it more as keeping the ship afloat in general. Also, for the first few months here I was just trying to keep on top of daily demands and figure out what was going on while the entire dept. was in transition, and there's a lot I know I need to do that I haven't had time to sit down and concentrate on. But ever since she's gotten here it's been Susan-do-this and Why-don't-we-have-that. I feel like I've gone from treading water to trying to swim the English Channel with bricks tied around my waist.

And she wants it by tomorrow, which I don't know how I'm going to get to, because I'm compiling some October statistics for her which she ALSO wants for tomorrow, and I can tell she was just amazed and appalled that I wasn't already compiling such monthly statistics, because to her that's just an obvious part of an operations manager's role.

I'd say that you need to stay late or do this at home. This is critical to your job satisfaction, so you gotta make time for it.

The questionnaire sounds key to getting everything straightened out. The stats may have to come second, as they're not a special project with a one-time deadline.

Well, the stats have the same deadline. I think she wants all of this--the stats, the questionnaires, etc.--for a meeting she's having with HER supervisor to discuss her first month on the job.

I just hate staying late or doing things at home, but I may have to. It's just...the thought of giving up a precious hour of writing time, which is all I *get* most days, to deal with this shit is kind of maddening. I already feel like I'm just having to claw and fight for all I'm worth to maintain some tiny shred of who I really am and what I really want to be.

My post got et. Wah.

Good luck with your job stuff, Susan. How frustrating.

I'm having some frustration myself. I'm working on billing paperwork, and it's boring. But I need to complete it so I can haz monies in the bank. And work is SLOW.

In better news, I ran three miles yesterday and feel really good. It's amazing, given that I couldn't even walk for like two weeks after my first week of training. I have discovered a magical machine here in the office, and between that and acupuncture, self-massage, and arnica pills I feel great.

I ran three miles yesterday and feel really good.

Go, you!

Susan--remember that you are who you are even when working a job you don't love. Really, it doesn't define you if you don't think that it does. Hec and Allyson are both published writers who also work in offices. The office work doesn't make either of them less of a writer and it doesn't in your case, either.

It sounds like both you and new boss are going through a shakedown period and those ialways nvolve a lot of assumptions and questions and changes. Filling out this description is a way to get what you want--more input into what you do and how you are seen, so take the extra time.