'Selfless'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
The provided definition of a poly person needs to be expanded, then. Go beyond being able to love sincerely and simultaneously to being honest about it.
And given how many people, it seems, can cheat without falling out of love with #1, poly possibility is wider than I'd thought.
Which is not to slander polyamory-it's a damned shame that being poly isn't perceived as a perfectly palatable configuration, instead of weird and shameful.
I think as one with Vortex on this issue.
I'm pretty happy with the wikipedia entry on polyamory.
Vortex, that makes sense to me.
GC, I also hear what you were saying earlier about labels. It gets frustrating sometimes, not because I mind the labels themselves, but because of the friction those labels cause when my definition doesn't quite match up with someone else's.
I'm bisexual without a doubt, but I'm in a het relationship and have been for a long time. Am I poly? Yes, in orientation, though in practice ND and I have been pretty monogamous. Do I care what someone else calls me? I wish I could say no, but I do.
I consider myself bi-poly, but I believe that there's a Kinsey for polyamory as well as one for bi/hetero/homo sexuality. I think some people are more inclined to having a central "primary" partner within the poly definition (like me), and others are more likely to prefer multiple, equally-weighted relationships (like Laga).
The problem with attempting to define "poly" or any other label is that the definition is never one-size-fits-all; but it's a fascinating exercise when done with respect, as it has been here.
I consider myself bi-poly, but I believe that there's a Kinsey for polyamory as well as one for bi/hetero/homo sexuality.
If I may ask, why add the sexuality designation? Is that just to clarify that you may be polyamorous with men and women?
Oh no, I just brought that up because of the fact that "bi" is another label people get fuzzy about.
It was clear in my brain, but it's 4 on a Friday. Brain no worky so well right now.
For me, my polyamory and my bisexuality are intertwined. This is not the case for everyone.
I would like to be poly in an intellectual sense, but am definitely not. I would like to be bi in many senses, and am mostly not (though I have moments). I'd more gay than I am poly - about a 1.5 on the gay/straight Kinsey scale and a 0.5 on the poly/mono Kinsey scale (existence be damned), I'd guess. But I've always been fascinated by polyamory, and this conversation is therefore awesome.
I would like to imagine being okay as a monogamous partner to a polyamorous girl, but I've recently decided I couldn't actually do it. I wouldn't be jealous, exactly, but I think I would resent any time given to others.
ETA: Not to derail, but did b.org talk about this NEW JOSS SHOW somewhere and I just... missed it?
For me, my polyamory and my bisexuality are intertwined. This is not the case for everyone.
Exactly. Like amych was saying eariler--she's bi, but monogamous. I'm more like Laga, though. I don't have any particular drive to date other men (I'm kind of smitten with the one I have already, and he fills my desire for being with guys), but I've really missed other women when I've been in het mono relationships.
Man, I'm feeling all vulnerable talking about all of this. I have no idea why given how much I care about the people on this board. Fear of being judged, I guess. Silly Kristin.
ETA:
Not to derail, but did b.org talk about this NEW JOSS SHOW somewhere and I just... missed it?Gris, huge conversation in Minearverse and some smatterings in Natter. Very exciting!
Minearverse. Quite a bit, in fact.