If you're cheating on your SO and love them both, are you poly in a non-poly relationship?

I think you can be poly and cheating at the same time, same as any other orientation.

Inherent to a poly relationship is the idea that everyone is upfront and truthful and communicates and all that healthy stuff,

I'd like to hope that that's inherent in the idea of every relationship. Yep. I'm an idealist.

Inherent to a poly relationship is the idea that everyone is upfront and truthful and communicates and all that healthy stuff,

I'd like to hope that that's inherent in the idea of every relationship.

Okay, but by saying that, I was trying to make the point that "cheating" (which involves not much truthfulness, et al.) is not "poly," in part because of the lack of honest communication.

Oh no, I knew what you meant. I just lament that sometimes it seems more non-traditional relationships have better honesty and communication than your typical "One man, one woman" type deal.

I can see why, I just lament it.

I just lament that sometimes it seems more non-traditional relationships have better honesty and communication than your typical "One man, one woman" type deal.

Seriously. I miss the days of making a guy have to wonder what I was thinking.* Now, I specify everything, right down to the color of the rope.

*(Not really. Being allowed -- nay, encouraged -- to ask for what I want means that, most of the time, I get it!)

Yeah, I think ours tend to get caught up in all the gender role uptight stuff. Which- insert DJ's rant about non-traditional relationships strenthening other relationships by throwing out outdated modes of the sexes relating to one another.

Yes there are poly people who cheat, just like there are Christians who hate. They may say they are what they profess to be but they both make the baby Jesus cry.

Okay, I've been ruminating. For me, "open relationship" means that one has a primary relationship, but has been given permission to "interact" with other people to whom they are attracted based on a set of parameters (i.e. no penetrative sex, or no one in the group of friends) Polyamorous means (again, to me) multiple committed romantic relationships between at least two of the parties that has the potential to (and liklihood) to have a physical component. And everybody knows about everyone else.

Does that make sense?

ugg. very frustrating. The stage manager for this show isn't that great of a caller. no warns. few stand by's. So there are long strings of light cues, then all of a sudden, in a panic "sound GO". It's like my finger has to live on the GO button. Which makes me paranoid of twitchy accidental plunges. Uggg.

/theater board op rant.

The provided definition of a poly person needs to be expanded, then. Go beyond being able to love sincerely and simultaneously to being honest about it.

And given how many people, it seems, can cheat without falling out of love with #1, poly possibility is wider than I'd thought.

Which is not to slander polyamory-it's a damned shame that being poly isn't perceived as a perfectly palatable configuration, instead of weird and shameful.