In my head, poly = having multiple close, loving, sexual relationships.

or at least, the potential for the relationship to be sexual, in my mind. Otherwise, I'm poly with half of the buffistas.

Hey, I need help! This is kinda up Hec's alley, but I'll take advice from anyone.

I'm going to a Halloween party tomorrow night, and I want to do my hair in a flapper-style. I have the bob, but I want to find out how to do, I think they are called "marcelled" waves. Mostly I have seen pix of black flappers with the marcelling, but is it a style peculiar to African-American hair, or can I reproduce the look with product and pins?

I'm wearing a kind of superslutty faux-flapper outfit -- slip, lace bra, garters, stockings, flask, cupid's bow mouth, but I want the hair to look right.

I know it's not peculiar to African-American hair because I've got a non-African American friend who had marcelled waves but I think she had a perm. (Well, I'm sure she did because her natural hair is straight.)

My hair is really straight, too, but I was hoping that with some of those long-ass grandma clip thingies and a shitload of product, I could approximate the marcelled look.

I'm looking around, but I think I'm looking at the wrong stuff.

See, I think part of the issue here is that people are trying to define Poly based on outward actions. By these definitions if a person with a poly orientation is not dating anyone, then they are suddently not poly. For poly folks it's an orientation. If someone who is bi-sexual is dating the opposite sex, they don't suddenly cease being bi-sexual. If a heterosexual is currently not dating they don't cease being heterosexual.

Jilli, after the meeting I just had, I'm ready to join you in that pillow fort.

Now I know why I was looking at apartments in Budapest the other day. I may just not come back.

wow ... I post one tongue-in-cheek response to Trudy and spark a bunch of thoughtful, insightful, personally revealing posts. I'm not sure if I should muzzle my humor or what.

I have the bob, but I want to find out how to do, I think they are called "marcelled" waves. Mostly I have seen pix of black flappers with the marcelling, but is it a style peculiar to African-American hair, or can I reproduce the look with product and pins?

Same thing as finger waves? I know Hec's posted instructions for those before.

See, I think part of the issue here is that people are trying to define Poly based on outward actions...

I thought the discussion was more along the lines of trying to define poly relationships, not poly people.

people are trying to define Poly based on outward actions

I'm more basing my definition of Poly on intentions, not neccessarily actions. Meaning, I love my friend Chris. If he and I were to find ourselves not married, we would probably be together. But I don't intend to have sex with him. It doesn't change my level of feelings for him, nor his for me, nor ours for our spouses, but I wouldn't say that either of us were Poly.

Does that make sense?