Honestly, the damage is so deeply rooted in some of my family and friends it doesn't matter who they're taking to bed or living with or employing or working for. In scenarios like that I think it's woman on woman pressure, as in the woman on herself.

I don't mean an influence from a specific man or men in their lives. I mean in a male dominant society. And I think a lot of woman on woman pressure is lashing out at someone who isn't conforming to what is expected of us. I think women being hard on themselves is even more specifically patriarchal pressure.

There is a bunch of consumerist stuff in there too, but the specific image we're required to live up to is pure male fantasy.

I've seen the Nolita poster, and it is scary as hell.

I read an article about that campaign that says the woman is not a model, but is a 27-year-old who has had anorexia for 14 years, and appeared on the billboard to "demonstrate how dangerous the disease is."

On the blog where I saw the poster (Pandagon, I think?), most of the commenters who had experience with eating disorders agreed that it would almost certainly be embraced on pro-ana forums as "thinspiration," and was unlikely to serve as a warning to anyone who wasn't already aware that anorexia is a dangerous disease. So uh, yeah. Oops.

(And I almost just wrote "bad advert, no biscuit" before realizing what poor taste that would be. Bad advert, MORE biscuits! And then a sandwich!)

(And I almost just wrote "bad advert, no biscuit" before realizing what poor taste that would be. Bad advert, MORE biscuits! And then a sandwich!)

Ok, but that was funny.

I guess I figure the patriarchal part of the equation is...not negligible by impact, but I ignore it because it cannot be addressed on the same scale as the one on which it operates.

But I'm tired and hurty and crabby and unable to reason and discuss civilly. So I'm out for a little.

I guess I figure the patriarchal part of the equation is...not negligible by impact, but I ignore it because it cannot be addressed on the same scale as the one on which it operates.

If I understand you correctly, I agree, except with the ignoring.

I hope you feel better, and I think you've been perfectly civil.

I'm leaving work and going to see Mr. Jane for Lennon's birthday, so I too am out.

TiVo alert for ita: [link]

I agree, except with the ignoring.

I don't feel I can address it, since it's a beast that's bigger than anyone I know. On an individual scale, I've seen women being worse to women than the men in their lives are, and relatively speaking that's where my attention goes.

Women often complain about their weight around this one friend of mine--he's hugely exercise-conscious, and although he doesn't eat as well as he should, he knows just what he's doing wrong. They think they've found an ally in anti-fatness, but he just shrugs and says "I like women bigger." Surprisingly often, when the women complaining about themselves are asked, their boyfriends like them bigger.

That's just not enough.

Which is 180° from what I'd expected. The value system is either totally internal or totally impersonal.

Thanks, Tom. Just reading the website is lyrical. I wonder if one day I can own a real samurai sword. And if I owned one, how I'd stop myself from trying to cut off people's heads.

I spoke with my dad, who is on cloud nine regarding his new granddaughter.

He said everyone, including my SIL says she looks just like me.

My SIL was apparently very ill, there were some complications, a lot of blood loss, but she's bouncing back very quickly.

I hope you SIL feels much better right quick.

And lucky niece!

I get such a kick out of grandparents. When they aren't making me goggle at the horns growing out of their formerly parental heads.

My new job is finally (FINALLY) kicking into gear. I feel like I'm flying even blinder than I was when it hadn't.

I really don't like being a beginner. I've spent all evening thinking I may have made a booboo. Totally fixable, by the person who told me her worst beginner mistake was deleting the entire ops database. Which this wasn't, but STILL.

She's also the one who blurted out, when I said it was going to be hard work aspiring to be F, that there was no way I could be F. Socially adept? We are not here. I know she didn't mean it as anything but the fact that F is a FREAKING GENIUS but still...

I really don't like being a beginner.

Well, it's been a long time for you, right? Not that it's ever easy. I started my job last June and spent the whole summer sure I was getting fired. Then I spent some of the fall thinking that, too, but for different reasons. Anyway.