I am trapped in the basement. It's freezing down here, although not quite as smelly as yesterday. I am alone in a room. My keycard no longer works in the elevator. Hate. Hate. Hate.

That sucks.

Should we organize a rescue party and go free shrift? An army dressed as Captain Kirk, carrying red balloons?

Should we organize a rescue party and go free shrift? An army dressed as Captain Kirk, carrying red balloons?

Yes.

Save shrift!!!

I still hate my cable box, but possibly I've figured it out, after my first unpleasant Time Warner customer service experience. That lady was snotty. It really would have been nice if the setup instructions had included, you know, instructions for setting it ALL THE WAY UP.

Oh, more from Wikipedia:

Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine have also covered the song on their I'd Like a Virgin 2004 album; this version actually contains gibberish lyrics sung in a pseudo-German accent in lieu of German lyrics.

YOU'RE A KITTY: [link]

I am trapped in the basement.

Could be worse. You could be trapped in the closet (with R. Kelly).

Oh shrift, I'm so sorry. It just sucks that you've been relocated to smelly purgatory.

YOU'RE A KITTY: [link]

Aww....

Through a chain of events I cannot explain, that article has left me with the desire to remake John Waters's movie "Female Trouble," except starring cats and called "Feline Trouble."

this version actually contains gibberish lyrics sung in a pseudo-German accent in lieu of German lyrics.

hah!

I'm teaching my friends' babies to speak fake French!

No longer alone in the freezing room. Must pretend to work now. Woe.