I still have that apology email he sent. I'm thinking of replying to it, "you once told me (and my mother) that there was nothing I could ever do or say to make me respect you. Has something changed?"

He fully deserves it, and much more beside, but there's probably not much percentage in engaging with him at all anymore. Your sister, yes, but not him. I'm sorry it is all so awful for your whole family.

Aw, Robin, I knew your first marriage was bad but I had no idea how deeply bleak it was for you. Now I love your true and actual and real DH for being so very, very D. You deserve every bit of goodness he can lavish on you; fortunately, he's blessed with an abundance of goodness.

I want to go to Prague. Motherland + amazing architecture + beer

I want to go back to Prague for the same reason.

t waves at fellow Czechs

I'm so glad Robin now has the partner she deserves.

Why is it that the non-jackasses pay so much more jackass tax than the jackasses?

Isn't subsidized jackassery the American Dream?

It's the nature of the jackass tax. You either pay it in time or money or both.

Laga, I think it is fair to say to your sister that you don't want to deal with her husband . You don't like the way he treats her, or anyone else in your family. You have received his apology, but you have doubts. I think you can let her know that you love her, are worried about her, but for your sake/health/sanity - you don't want to see him. and that you are not going to pretend you are ok with him and his treatment of her. and then let her know tha tyou know this is going to mess up thanksgiivng/ xmas/other family gatherings, but that is the way it has to be. Obviously the details are up to you. But if you were ever close to your sister -give her room to come back.

Thanks everyone for your wise words.

I'm trying to think of the very nicest possible way to tell my sister I need a little break from her but that I will be here if she needs me.

Laga, sorry I haven't been around to chime in. What everyone said is very wise.

I am so tired I could cry.

I think I have a stomach virus trying to take control. I had pretty severe GI difficulties all day, and strongly feel that really unpleasant not-well tension thing bunching up under my skin. I am giving a final exam tomorrow, and running an administration of the PSAT the day after that: I don't have time to be sick. Stop it, body!

Ad to this the fact that my new romantic desire, with whom I'm very much at the "More hanging out! More kissies! More, more, more!" early cute stage, is in the Hamptons working at a film festival all week, and I am not feeling super happy overall.

ETA: Think I'm going to declare tonight a bust and just go to bed. Wake up early and create my final - it's just copying and pasting from old quizzes anyway.

ETAA: Maybe you should do similar, Kristin? Though I guess it's REALLY early for bedtime for you.

Mom and Dad think I should send the letter to the asshat. I'm still uncertain as to why. For my part I'm just really sick of being stuck in this non-person limbo and I'd like to know if his apology negated it.

I think the reason it matters what the asshat thinks of me is because he's married to my sister and therefore she condones his opinions.

It's a fair question, Laga. He apologized to you, you can ask for clarification as to what that apology covers before you accept it or not. Whatever he answers, what you do with his answer will probably not be simple or easy but at least it will not be blindly trying to guess his thoughts.