Okay one of the things a friend does is say "Sounds like my dates" after anyone says anything vaguely porny. It's ridic, of course, but has become because of how ridic it is, hilarious. It drives his wife crazy but she'll do it all the time when he's not around. So she was in Denmark this summer at an international acting, I want to say, camp. A weeklong workshop with other professional actors from several countries. And someone said something porn-ish and she said "sounds like my dates" and then had to explain what that meant. Turns out every nation represented there had a similar thing. The only one she could remember was the Dutch which is (and I don't know the spelling) "In mein brucke" or "In my pants."

I'm telling you all this because:

Where is my magic wand when I need it?

In mein brucke!

::loves lisah::

I bet I know what Dutch people say when they eat fortune cookies!

Are you having something like a Dexascan, Suzi? With that, you just lie down and it's done in less than 10 minutes. No muss, no fuss, hardly any noise. With a bone scan, as WS says, you have to be injected with a radioactive tracer and wait about two hours before the scan. Aside from that annoyance, you also have to stay still for a rather long time for the scan. That's easier if they put straps around you. Yes, it's better if you're tied up.

Good gawd, y'all. At this rate, they'll be done moving me NEXT friday...the packing guys took all the boxes out, but the mover guys are supposed to deal with all the furniture. They got here an hour ago, and as of yet, not a single piece of furniture is on the truck. There's two guys, one who insists he has to stay with the truck (and who smells like he hasnt' showered in a week, and couldn't FIND the place--even though it's like, the easiest place to find EVER), and one who (a) limps and (b) is moaning and groaning and making big sighs every time he moves at all. WTF, people? These are the professional movers?

I skippity skipped so I'm sending my ~ma out into the universe in search of all those who need it.

Mom's going to be busy for her birthday so we're celebrating it tomorrow.

The borscht is now fabulous since I added one more can of beets. Ooh I wish I was home with it right now. nom nom.

Only buffistas could make medical testing porny. Gawd, I love y'all.

I just know it is a bone scan checking for bone density. I also have the brain MRI. One is at 2pm and the other at 3pm - not sure which is first. So I don't think I'm getting anything injected. I hope.

meara - check for hidden cameras. I think you are being punked.

Among my friends we have two pornified comments which are appended to phrases which are vaguely sexual in nature. Both peaked in the 90s so now their occasional reoccurrences are doubly funny for both unexpectedness and nostalgia. For mildly sexual inuendos, a simple, "ooh baby!" Most funny now when it comes from outside the room uttered by someone you didn't even realize was paying attention. For things that could be twisted in an expecially perverted manner only an, "and we all know how painful that can be!" will suffice.

Our standard porny-making suffix in high school was: That's what he/she said.

"God, this is hard!"
"That's what she said."

"I'd like a Polish sausage"
"That's what he said."

"We need a pump and some lube."
"That's what she said."

And of course, there is Michael Scott's favorite "That's what he/she said." Which I lost interest in after hanging out with a bunch of crunchy granola spiritual types and having to explain that's what who said about what. I'm not their kind of liberal. Okay, not awful, only a little evil, just discouraged...it's just been a tough...half a decade or so, minus some bright spots. My father took my half-brother to Baltimore...to see the Hard Rock Cafe. I think that was the closest I ever came to calling him fucked-up to his face. Like you can't get overpriced HR burgers in Phoenix.ETA: That's what he said x-post. Ha! Well, that's the first time I ever did that with a married man!