Yeah, I had the same issues with my mom, Steph. She knew about pretty much everything, so holding something back suddenly became a Big Deal. Not a huge everything-is-my-business-how-dare-you-not-tell-me Big Deal, but definitely a behaving-outside-the-norm BD.

My dad doesn't so much ask and doesn't remember much of what he's told, so you can pretty much tell him anything you want. "What friends?" "You know, those ones I told you about?" "Ok".)

ETA: He's not senile or anything, he just doesn't listen very well.

Because her DOB is off, they probably won't let her do it online because they can't verify.

This. Can't do it online. They'll send me one for free in the mail, but I won't BE here by the time it gets here....and they won't send it someplace that I don't have proof I live there. Which is understandable, but....

it makes me wonder what really is kinky anymore

Heh. I was wondering that myself--I know I hang out with a bent group of people, so my perceptions are a little off, but...what DOES Middle America find kinky? A little being tied up? Some smacking the ass doesn't seem to make anyone blink...do you have to smack with something other than a hand? Or do it a lot? I start to wonder, if the only things that make me take a step back are the things that most of America is going to step back at (pony play? piercing play? electrocution?), who's kinky anymore?

"oh, you know, the usual -- through friends," tends to work, except when you get really nosy people like *my parents* (eeeeek!), who ask, "Oh, what friends?"

Heh. That's what I generally say about people I met on the internet!!

One of my young friends is exploring his kink with a vengeance. His parents recently mentioned that he had a 'hot date' but that they had no information about the datee. Thank dog for my poker face. Move along 'rents...you really don't want to know.

Last week, a friend of mine brought her soon-to-be stepdaughter to the weekly Goth Stitch & Bitch. (StB stepdaughter is 15.) The girl made an off-hand comment about her boyfriend and handcuffs. As one, all of us in the room looked at her and said "Do we need to have the talk about safewords with you?"

She turned a little red and said no. Her StB stepmother said "See, this is why I brought you. You can ask these ladies anything."

I start to wonder, if the only things that make me take a step back are the things that most of America is going to step back at (pony play? piercing play? electrocution?), who's kinky anymore?

By the meara definition, I definitely qualify.

Except for the piercing play. Although I'd probably try it.

t /TMI

Uh, yeah. See, you ask a question like that, and you're going to be sorry you asked.

These folks know nothing about their kid, I suspect. Sad, but relatively convenient for him.

You can ask these ladies anything.

Bless.

When aforementioned kid brought his interests up to me (he was carrying a how-to book considered the 'bible') he didn't even blink and I shifted smoothly into the safeword discussion. It was an honor, I tell you.

I'm just hoping he doesn't use the 'issue' to beat his clueless 'rents with. Not because they don't deserve it on some levels but because that way lies some stuff I honestly don't think he'll be glad of in the long run.

In the meanwhile, he's got me for a safe place. It will ever be thus.

Heh. I'm not saying any of those are bad or that I totally rule them out, it's just...I feel like anything "less" than that is not going to shock middle america. And I feel like it would've used to. (Huh, does this tie into that "Raunch Culture" discussion the other day? I think that was in Natter, though)

Ah, yes. The "How did you meet?" issue. Generally, saying "oh, you know, the usual -- through friends," tends to work, except when you get really nosy people like *my parents* (eeeeek!), who ask, "Oh, what friends?"

Ah, never thought you'd long for the internet friends who'll sell you into white slavery discussion, huh?

For instance, when my mom and stepdad went to Vermont to visit my brother a couple of years ago, Trudy and megan walker happened to also be in Vermont, and so I had pointed Trudy and megan towards my bro's restaurant, and my mom and stepdad hung out with them.

Granted, my mom had met Trudy before, but still. I wasn't even *there,* and my mom hung out with my friends. That's what my parents are like.

But then you meet friends who enjoy a little recreational bondage, and that's really not a family activity, so then the parents don't know *all* the friends.

'Tis true. And, really, if your Mom had bondage pals you likely wouldn't want to know about it either.

Funny story: At my MMA studio the other day I was watching a class practice choke holds and was talking with some of the instructors (who tend to be big gorgeous things in their twenties) about how it looked scary and I'd be afraid of hurting someone.

BGT: You use a tap system. If something feels wrong you tap your partner.

Me: Oh! Like a safeword!

Turned. Those. Boys. Scarlet.

(It's fun scaring them)

he was carrying a how-to book considered the 'bible'

The fact that he can talk to you about it, AND the fact that he's clearly educating himself (the how-to book), is awesome. Some things are too oogy to talk about with parents, frankly. At least, that's *my* feeling. They don't need to know about my sex life and related extracurriculars.

(Although apparently I feel that all y'all *do*....)

Except for the piercing play. Although I'd probably try it.

Tangentially - at the Folsom Street Fair last year, there were some AWESOME Morris Dancers (v. non-traditional, with women and vinyl clothing and just awesomery). Some of them had threaded their bells on to fishing line and treaded THAT through the skin on their arms - one bell to a piercing. It looked so bloody cool.

For instance, when my mom and stepdad went to Vermont to visit my brother a couple of years ago, Trudy and megan walker happened to also be in Vermont, and so I had pointed Trudy and megan towards my bro's restaurant, and my mom and stepdad hung out with them.

God, that seems like a lifetime ago. But I do remember it was very fun.