the people in the wolf T-shirts speaking Klingon and hauling Star Wars paraphernalia won't know to follow me from the airport to the convention

You can sneakily observe them from behind your business casual cloak. And judge them.

Well, OK, then. I guess you can keep the plantar fascitis.

How much of a dork does it make me that I'm excited that I'm apparently now an approved commenter on all of the Gawker blogs?

Go you!

This is several months old, but after all the Vick crap, I thought it might be good to see.

Not long after sinking a birdie putt in the Cowboys' sponsors golf tournament at Cowboys Golf Club in Grapevine last Wednesday, Leonard Davis flew to his Chandler, Ariz., home and noticed a horse stuck belly-deep in mud.

Davis rescued the horse, Ranger, from the sinkhole with help of a tractor and even hosed the horse down afterward. For his efforts Davis will receive PETA's Compassion Action Award.

“Leonard might think that his rescue of Ranger was ‘no big deal,’ but Ranger - who’s doing fine - probably feels otherwise,” says PETA Director Daphna Nachminovitch. “Although Leonard is best known for letting defenses think that they just hit a brick wall, it’s his soft spot for animals in need that makes him a real hero.”

You can sneakily observe them from behind your business casual cloak. And judge them.

My very favorite thing about being stealth at conventions is when non-attendees start talking to me about the OMG FREAKS, and I let them go on a little before casually flashing my convention badge.

Well, since posting is light, I will note two things I learned from my two-day vacation to New Jersey. One, I advise everyone who likes amusement parks to go to ones where you can skip the line. Honestly, the Flash Pass thing at Six Flags was like $30 a person and totally worth it. Can you imagine a day with roller coasters, but without hassle and line douchebags? I CAN! I kind of want to go back right now.

Two, if you get a hotel room, rent a car, go to an amusement park, get parking and gas and have dinner all in a two day period, Citibank will flag your account, I guess, and you will come home to a call asking you to verify all these purchases. VACATION OVER.

Has he met Michael Vick?

Should he put Michael Vick in his lap instead of a panda?

Stress has settled into my lower back and sunk its teeth into my spine about the reading and just what I'm supposed to talk about.

There's supposed to be a Q&A, but since it'll mostly be my friends, there will be awkward silence.

Then a signing, but they already have signed copies.

So, um, we will eat cake.

but since it'll mostly be my friends, there will be awkward silence.

No, they're your friends and they want you to do well, and they're smart people, so they will have questions even if no one else does. Which is very unlikely.

3/4 of my face is numb and will remain so for the near future. My facial nerves have been declared "wacky."

I'm still eeyore and would like to just get over it already.