Well, that didn't take long. Remember the cat bed from last night? [link]

Kate!

Hi! My latest deal is sleep apnea. A friend informed me I stopped breathing while I sleep early this summer, and after a bunch of tests, I got a CPAP a few weeks ago. Adjusting to it is taking some time, but I see a difference already. I feel a lot clearer, and people at work have stopped telling me how ill I look!

How are you?

Brenda! And you? I love that picture, and I skipped, so I don't even know all the story.

Hi KateFate!

{{Callaluna}} Yeah, normal. As is working too damn much when you work for yourself. Try and take a little time to enjoy the process and each other. Maybe cut out some tuxedos from a catalog and an appropriate paper doll and play dress up with him. Trying to repeat the process he had with the best man might not work. Be sure to include blue ruffles with the samples.

Ok, first, my apologies for choosing to share my little breakdown with you all last night. I feel guilty in the light of day.

I adore the paper dolls idea, though he would be horrified. But man, I always loved paper dolls!!! And you were kidding about the blue ruffles, right? I haven't told you guys about that have I?

The first (and only) request Ross made was that he be permitted to wear a powder blue tuxedo with ruffles. Like from Dumb and Dumber. He thought it would be hysterical. I was, understandably I think, unconvinced. I wasn't going for a laugh riot, more of the understated but elegant route. Plus, by that point, he'd already agreed to our black and ivory color scheme - and powder blue just doesn't fit there. I said no, my Mom said no, his mom said HELL NO (she told him she would get a stand in groom if he did that to me).

He reminds me of this denial EVERY TIME I ask him for input on the wedding:

Me: What do you think, chicken or beef for the second entree?

Him: I'm not even going to have an opinion, because my ideas just get ignored anyway.

Truly, it's utter craziness. I've pointed out to him numerous times that this should have all been about compromise - had he suggested ten ides instead of one, he'd have likely gotten his way on 6 or 7 of those ideas. But when you suggest ONE idea, which completely does not mesh with all the other decisions that have been made, it's a no.

So he's brought this up about forty thousand times now, and continues to torment me about it, and little does he know, I have a surprise for him that I've been planning for months and months.

While I may not find the powder blue tuxedo thing as amusing as he does, I do understand that marriage is about compromise. So I have arranged to rent a SECOND tuxedo secretly (if he will just order the first one, dammit). After the ceremony, and the beginning of the reception, we will slip away and reemerge as a portrait in blue - him in the powder blue tuxedo with ruffles, me in a sapphire blue evening gown, complete with blue shoes, blue handbag, a gorgeous sapphire necklace (was so happy to have an excuse to buy THAT), AND a matching blue tiara. I've even ordered a tossing bouquet in shades of blue. Who loves you baby?

My mother has even arranged for the DJ to play "Devil With a Blue Dress" as we re-enter.

See, I'm not bridezilla. I'm willing to let it all go and just be silly at the reception. But the boy looks damned fine in a tuxedo, and I want to see it again before I die.

katefate! Callaluna!

I'm glad I skipped right to your posts. Now to go back and actually, you know, read what you said.

[Edited because Theo and brenda deserve their own "Theo!" and "brenda!", even though it hadn't been forever since I last posted with either of them. It's not about the amount of time, you know. It's about being happy to see your font.]

Nilly! Callaluna (thanks for the identity check in your tagline)!

That is a fabulous compromise. Being embarrassingly uninformed, I was thinking as I was reading - why not wear the cheesy tux to the bachelor party, but you get to play along with him in your idea. And I absolutely love it.

My niece is getting married in a few weeks, and she has been working very hard at not going Bridezilla. I'm looking forward to it, because I'm sure it's going to be perfectly beautiful *and* a boatload of fun.

Edited because Nilly's edit made me all misty for why I'm so glad to be here. "Happy to see your font," indeed!

I really don't think I am Bridezilla, but I spend a lot of time worrying that other people think I am. Sure, I am insanely stressed out and prone to bouts of bitchiness and/or crying fits, but I am NOT obsessing about the details, I'm just trying to get everything done. I don't care if the exact right flower is represented in every bouquet, I don't care if the plates exactly match the tablecloths, I don't care if the chairs have chairbacks (this is my Mom's project -she cares very much. I'm just letting her do what she wants), I don't care if the bridesmaids match or if their hair is perfect, I don't care if we have a special cake serving set (again, my Mom cares), I don't care if we even HAVE a guest book (Mom cared. I ordered one), I don't care who sits where. I care about the cake, because I've daydreamed about the perfect cake for ages. I care that there BE centerpieces (this is proving almost comically difficult, by the way). I care that everyone I love is there, that everyone gets fed, and that everyone enjoys the night.

Oh, and I want to look pretty. ;)

I have to get to work, must run.

And I am always cheered to see your font, Nilly!

katefate, my friends who have CPAP have found their lives much improved, fwiw.

Me, I was laid off from my job of ten years this spring, so I've been enjoying my severance pay and slowly gearing up to look for a new job -- now I'm in the daunting 'looking for work' phase itself. Also I forgot a payment, and the new COBRA management has cut off my health insurance for good. But at least I can start a new plan on 9/1 so my goal for the next 2.7 weeks is to stay healthy and uninjured.

Callaluna, maybe you should just tell him about the Portrait in Blue idea -- it is an excellent compromise, but if he's continuously pissed off about that one issue, maybe doing it as a surprise isn't the best idea.

Callaluna, maybe if you make him 'surprised' now with the Portrait in Blue tuxedo and your plans (and explain that it's been in train for a while now, so it's obvious this is not a last-minute placation) this will help the attitude.

But I think the problem is mostly a version of Wedding Nerves, Groom-style.

You could also try suggesting that you both have an Unstressing Afternoon together as a followup to the Tuxedo Morning part of the day-off. That way, there's the Spoonful of Sugar, right there.

So sorry about the layoff, Theo. I hope it means great things are in store for you. 2.7 week~ma to you!

Callaluna - I sooo understand about the Bridezilla thing (not want to be one; not wanting to be perceived as one). The reason I perceive it as being hard work is that I accompanied my niece on several of her appointment when she was interviewing caterers, planners, florists, etc. It seemed like they not only assumed they were speaking with a Bridezilla, when she stuck to her guns about simplicity, they actively tried to turn her into a BZ. I admire her - she's got a way of being totally stubborn, yet remaining completely charming.

I would have been, how you say, "insanely stressed out and prone to bouts of bitchiness and/or crying fits," myself.

eta: Good points about PiB being a surprise. I think, too, having some fun to look forward to might make the stress of the ceremony a little bit better.

Theo - I keep hearing the same thing about CPAP, so I'm willing to keep with it until I've adjusted.

And with that, I must off to work to chip away at the Training Document That Wouldn't Die.