I really don't think I am Bridezilla, but I spend a lot of time worrying that other people think I am. Sure, I am insanely stressed out and prone to bouts of bitchiness and/or crying fits, but I am NOT obsessing about the details, I'm just trying to get everything done. I don't care if the exact right flower is represented in every bouquet, I don't care if the plates exactly match the tablecloths, I don't care if the chairs have chairbacks (this is my Mom's project -she cares very much. I'm just letting her do what she wants), I don't care if the bridesmaids match or if their hair is perfect, I don't care if we have a special cake serving set (again, my Mom cares), I don't care if we even HAVE a guest book (Mom cared. I ordered one), I don't care who sits where. I care about the cake, because I've daydreamed about the perfect cake for ages. I care that there BE centerpieces (this is proving almost comically difficult, by the way). I care that everyone I love is there, that everyone gets fed, and that everyone enjoys the night.

Oh, and I want to look pretty. ;)

I have to get to work, must run.

And I am always cheered to see your font, Nilly!

katefate, my friends who have CPAP have found their lives much improved, fwiw.

Me, I was laid off from my job of ten years this spring, so I've been enjoying my severance pay and slowly gearing up to look for a new job -- now I'm in the daunting 'looking for work' phase itself. Also I forgot a payment, and the new COBRA management has cut off my health insurance for good. But at least I can start a new plan on 9/1 so my goal for the next 2.7 weeks is to stay healthy and uninjured.

Callaluna, maybe you should just tell him about the Portrait in Blue idea -- it is an excellent compromise, but if he's continuously pissed off about that one issue, maybe doing it as a surprise isn't the best idea.

Callaluna, maybe if you make him 'surprised' now with the Portrait in Blue tuxedo and your plans (and explain that it's been in train for a while now, so it's obvious this is not a last-minute placation) this will help the attitude.

But I think the problem is mostly a version of Wedding Nerves, Groom-style.

You could also try suggesting that you both have an Unstressing Afternoon together as a followup to the Tuxedo Morning part of the day-off. That way, there's the Spoonful of Sugar, right there.

So sorry about the layoff, Theo. I hope it means great things are in store for you. 2.7 week~ma to you!

Callaluna - I sooo understand about the Bridezilla thing (not want to be one; not wanting to be perceived as one). The reason I perceive it as being hard work is that I accompanied my niece on several of her appointment when she was interviewing caterers, planners, florists, etc. It seemed like they not only assumed they were speaking with a Bridezilla, when she stuck to her guns about simplicity, they actively tried to turn her into a BZ. I admire her - she's got a way of being totally stubborn, yet remaining completely charming.

I would have been, how you say, "insanely stressed out and prone to bouts of bitchiness and/or crying fits," myself.

eta: Good points about PiB being a surprise. I think, too, having some fun to look forward to might make the stress of the ceremony a little bit better.

Theo - I keep hearing the same thing about CPAP, so I'm willing to keep with it until I've adjusted.

And with that, I must off to work to chip away at the Training Document That Wouldn't Die.

I missed katefate?

Sad now.

The early bird gets the katefate!

The early bird gets the katefate!

That sounds so ... porny yet wholesome, somehow.

The early bird gets the katefate!

I was early! Just on the wrong coast.

katefate, my friends who have CPAP have found their lives much improved, fwiw.

Yes, very much so. My Dad used to keep everyone in a two story house awake. I remember lying awake as a teenager thinking, "Breathe Dad, come on, breathe..." He is SO MUCH better now. And my aunt used to fall asleep all the time - even while driving! Turns out it wasn't narcolepsy, just sleep apnea. Since she's gotten her CPAP, she no longer falls asleep in the middle of conversations, and she is much safer while driving!

Me, I was laid off from my job of ten years this spring

Oh, jeez, that truly sucks. I am sorry. Hope you find something wonderful!

Callaluna, maybe you should just tell him about the Portrait in Blue idea -- it is an excellent compromise, but if he's continuously pissed off about that one issue, maybe doing it as a surprise isn't the best idea.

Well, here is the thing... My darling wonderful fiancee is um, how do I put this... a bit of a tight wad. A lot of a tight wad. He would consider a second tuxedo to be wasteful. And because he also has a phenomenal streak of stubborness, I can absolutely see him saying NO. I am counting on the magic of the day to make him realize that I really put a lot of thought into this and I did it all to make him happy. It has to be a surprise.

He'll get a tuxedo, I'm sure he will. He'll do everything he can possibly do to NOT do it my way, but he'll get it. Did I mention stubborness? When I say "my way," I don't mean to imply that I'm trying to control everything. He is welcome to choose whatever tuxedo he likes, so long as it is black and devoid of ruffles. The only thing I have asked is that he get the tuxedos from the bridal salon where we are getting married, and that is all about practicality - if he gets them there, we don't have to arrange for someone to pick them up and drop them off again after. And if we DO have to arrange for someone to pick them up and drop them off, guess who will get to handle THAT detail?