This is what would lead me to calling it cheating. If you're lying or deliberately not telling your partner something, it's cheating.

An ex of mine used to call for long 'counseling' sessions before and after his marriage. At some point he let it slip that he never told his wife about our conversations and that it made him nervous to be speaking to me.

I was aghast...when I asked what the problem was, he said that it constituted cheating. Dude! I gave you the advice that helped you to actually ask this woman to marry you!! We don't talk about anything but your problems...how on earth is that cheating.

I bid him a fond farewell and felt a little sorry for the bride.

Tom Ford’s perfume line has, from the beginning, taken the low road with its high notes. Or maybe, when he launched the line last spring, he just figured out how to make cologne funny and a bit skanky (sexy?), declaring that he wanted to make one of his twelve unisex scents “smell like a man’s crotch.” But does his scent Tuscan Leather actually smell like cocaine? Well, according to cognoscenti of that drug, yes, a bit. “That’s what everyone says,” admits a counterboy at the Ford store on Madison, who adds that one customer even bought a bottle because he thought it smelled like coke. Tuscan Leather goes for $165 for a 50-ml. bottle, about 49 grams, which is way cheaper than the real stuff from Bolivia. What’s the appeal of smelling like you might be clenching your jaw? Ford was traveling in some far-off land without cell-phone reception and could not be reached, his spokeswoman said. Katherine Holmes, a spokesperson for Private Blend, Ford’s fragrance line, says Tuscan Leather is “an original take on a classic leather scent. Saffron, raspberry, and thyme, open to olibanum and night-blooming jasmine,” while “leather, black suede, and amber wood add an intricate richness.” So, no blow anywhere in there? “No.”

[link]

Tom Ford is classy.

Sorry Theodosia for the repost. I am a notorious skimmer.

Really - it only was cheating when he didn't tell his wife. You can't use the word wife on someone else and not expect to get a sideways look. Lines are sometimes hard to draw. physical adultery is pretty obvious for me. the lines for neglectful are harder. hours don't matter - I just want to occasionally be the only thing he is paying attention to.

And if it really is the phenonmenon the article says it is -- then many many spouses are feeling neglected and cheated upon by people involved in Second Life.

ION - beagle and llamas!

To me it doesn't so much matter whether it is adultery or not-- he's not a good husband right now.

Amen to this. I've heard people throw terms like cheating and adultery around a little too freely for things like chatting up or flirting with someone, as if the fact that a behavior is desrespectful or just annoying to them won't count unless they sensationalize it. But in the case in point, I'd say a husband spending his every waking hour in a virtual game while ignoring his new wife is at least as strong an indication of a doomed marriage as an actual affair would be. It's the utter lack of consideration for—or interest in—his spouse that's the big issue, not what he's doing while ignoring her.

Timelies all!

Ugh. I'm congested and stuff. Unfortunately it's far too late in the day to take Sudafed.(I've become fairly sensitive to the active ingredient, in that the stimulant effects last well beyond the decongestant effects. Yes, even with the reformulation.)

I am with the people who think the guy is doing a crap job of husbanding. It's an extra slap that it's a woman on the end of it, but if it was a motorcycle it'd still be a considerable alienation of affection thingummy, since he wasn't always this way.

Ack. I've been out of the office for more than two hours, but at least there's the chance all three things wrong with my car will get fixed within half an hour.

In dramatic contrast to bein all hyper-prepared end of last week, I've let a user's confusion and my lack of reference materials make me look like an airhead to someone else in my department.

Hell, I ran a way productive meeting this morning, but waiting on the car and the migraine and little hope of downtime until much later conspire to deflate my mood.

Maybe I will wear the pink short shorts to class today.

A cute picture of a kitten sleeping in a shoe: [link]

Maybe I will wear the pink short shorts to class today.

Guh-thunk!