Dear Assorted Offices Who Aren't Giving Me Answers,

WHY, if the deadline for this thing is truly today, have you not answered the repeated voicemails and emails I've been sending you since I learned about the thing in question on Wednesday? Are you just TRYING to make my life a living hell when I'm trying to clear my desk and get out of town for a week? Because, given that the reason I'm leaving town is to visit my mother, who has cancer, I really have enough going on without your ineptitude and bureaucratic red tape adding petty stress to my real pressures.

Sincerely,
Me

Holy crap. Someone was just found mauled to death on the lawn of Ving Rhames' house. They've taken his four mastiffs into custody.

I hate, hate, hate people who turn dogs into animals. So to speak.

Dear Assorted Offices Who Aren't Giving Me Answers,

WHY, if the deadline for this thing is truly today, have you not answered the repeated voicemails and emails I've been sending you since I learned about the thing in question on Wednesday? Are you just TRYING to make my life a living hell when I'm trying to clear my desk and get out of town for a week? Because, given that the reason I'm leaving town is to visit my mother, who has cancer, I really have enough going on without your ineptitude and bureaucratic red tape adding petty stress to my real pressures.

Sincerely,

Me

So I guess Susan is in on the musical too.

So I guess Susan is in on the musical too.

Yep. Need a writer? I'm told my first drafts read like screenplays anyway.

Dear brain-

Why are you so stupid?

Signed,

This HAS to go out today,, damnit.

I ated too much mint ice cream w/ mini-m&ms and walnuts in a waffle cone. Ated way too much. And it was A Mess. But a delicious one.

Office Space: The Musical!!

Is a MILLION $$$ idea!

I'm already thinking of numbers for OS:TM

Waltz of the TPS Reports
Ya Gotta have Flair!
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that Swing(line)

the flair number would really be spectacular.

then a love song for Milton to his stapler.

I think a great number would be when Livingston's character is in the review and telling them he doesn't much feel like working.

Office Space: The Musical!!

I would pay good money to see this.

red velvet cake

Good grief, people! I hadn't thought of red velvet cake in, like, years. Then I got one for my birthday. It was delicious. Then? My doctor told me to stop eating wheat. Now? Every single day somebody mentions red velvet cake! And I can't have any! Stop it! Getoutgetoutgetout!

This kind of thing can easily be done in new york with all the alt-comedy and off-off-off-broadway stages. Until the c&d letter comes in, which it will. (I'll do the doomsaying!)