It was to stop intentional provocation and troll-like behavior in the thread. Since we didn't have that happening, working to resolve in the thread was appropriate.

As to feeling like a pile on... unless only the first 10 posters to a topic get to comment I'm not sure there is a way to address that. We're talky and everyone has an opinion. And in this instance it was mostly people trying to help.

Sophia, I think we did follow our guidance to bring it up in thread and discuss there. I don't think we need a change in that policy.

It was to stop intentional provocation and troll-like behavior in the thread. Since we didn't have that happening, working to resolve in the thread was appropriate.

I think these are correct. The community did step up and address it in-thread and people were pretty gentle in their corrections.

Our policy about Warnings (as I recall - I could be wrong) did not seem to kick in until there was a repeated, troll like behavior. Where there was some assessment of intent.

But that would have been the next step, I think, if it was warranted. (I don't think it is in this instance, but that's just one vote.)

The thing is, we have dealt with people being offended or hurt in the past. It hasn't happened in a while, but the things we put in place to deal with it, are how we dealt with it.

What we have never had, and I'm not sure if people are asking for that now, is an insistence on contrition or amends as a condition of staying here.

It is expected as a matter of etiquette, but has never been required.

I agree David.

It's been ages since I've looked at whatever we had for community guidelines. It's probably worth looking at that to make sure that we are intentionally inclusive. That may also be a place to include some of the resources that have been linked during this discussion.

I think this is a good place to start.

but maybe state clearly that talking about it in Burea if further discussion seems warranted isn't (necessarily) an escalation... just a lateral move. And, I mean, also that "Hey, can we take this to email privately?" or whatever is also a completely acceptable request. That is, taking a specific discussion to email - doesn't mean a general conversation for whoever has a thing to say or ask is prohibited or anything.

And this.

However, I literally cannot find the FAQ or site etiquette pages. I think I might be losing it.

Do we still want to follow that, or open it for more discussion- because the problem with discussion is that, to Trudy's point, it still FEELS like a pile on and it gets somewhat uncomfortable. However, the prevailing thought, at least in the DEI work I have done at work, is that we have to be uncomfortable to grow- so I am very torn.

I think this is a good point. Ideally, we would like to avoid offense and hurt feelings and micro-agressions and pile-ons. But as ND (I think) said, there are times you can't have that, so if some discomfort is required to protect people, you need to let it happen.

Also, since I was indirectly mentioned in Java cat's post, my suggestion to remove Laura from the admins was not out of any concern that she would misuse those rights. I apologize to Laura for any implication of that. I probably could have explained myself better, but I was sad about it, and I'm sad now.

However, I literally cannot find the FAQ or site etiquette pages. I think I might be losing it.

We may not have those here yet.

I don't think the FAQ/Etiquette pages were migrated over. I also noticed (while looking for them) that the "About" info doesn't include our latest move to this new site!

We may not have those here yet.

I went to the Wayback Machine!

Here is out etiquette The Buffistas are an inclusive, welcoming, and flame-free community. Play nice, and you've found a home away from home. If you make personal attacks or offensive posts, or try to start a fight, you will be shunned. However, newbie mistakes are usually corrected gently and informally. Lurk for a while and you'll learn our language.

We talk a lot. Most of our ramblings are in the Natter threads --- if it's off-topic for another thread, that's probably where it belongs. Please don't natter in the bureaucracy threads, in Sunnydale Press, our general announcements thread, or in Apocalypse, our personal announcements thread. Misplaced Natter may be deleted.

Don't post spoilers outside the spoiler threads. We consider spoilers to be anything that has not yet been broadcast. This includes TV Guide-type listings, actors' contracts, etc. --- basically, anything that has not yet been broadcast belongs in a spoiler thread.

We have many posters who aren't from North America and are therefore half a season or more behind. Don't taunt them. Please keep all discussion of current episodes in the NAFDA threads. The UnAmerican thread is obviously a safe zone, but so are Natter and Buffista Bureaucracy.

If you do accidentally post a spoiler, please either delete it or white it out. If you don't, a Stompy Foot may do it for you.

A few board members are considered to be Big Stompy Feet. They are wise, they are considerate, they are smart, and they have smiting capability. The Feet can delete any post at any time or refuse service to anyone, but they use their super-powers for good. If they ask for your cooperation with something, please comply.

While we may occasionally mention Buffy or Buffista-related goods, please don't spam us. Thanks. Besides, we all have large penises already.

Consistent demon-like behavior may earn a warning from the Stompy Feet. If you don't listen to the warning, you will be suspended for two months. And if you come back unreformed, you will be banned. Banning is rare and very much a last resort. Just FYI, our back-up boards on WorldCrossing and PeoplesForum are also Buffista Zones, and are subject to the same etiquette rules as the Phoenix.

The FAQ, which is strongly recommended reading, is that-a-way. We have a fairly elaborate community, with many specialty boards, something of a local dialect, and many posters from all over the world. So read the FAQ, as it will acquaint with you with the personality of the board. If you have questions or concerns about Buffista policies, please visit the Bureaucracy thread located on the right sidebar. Discussions about administration, moderation, and community take place in this thread. If you encounter etiquette problems, this is also the place to air grievances.

The Buffista Credo was well summed up by Julie who posted the following, This isn't a chat room. It's not even a particularly fast moving posting board. Partly, that's because I bet you dollars to doughnuts the vast majority of the people on this board spend a lot more of their time here reading, than writing. And partly that's because people here are aware that every bit of black text they put up on the screen, and every time they press post message, they are telling the community something about themselves. Most people want that to be a positive message.

If a thread isn't moving fast enough for you then you have two choices. You can leave it alone and not poke it. Or you can make a meaningful contribution that shows knowledge of your audience, is written in language and a style designed to elicit responses from your readers and that makes you accessible to the people with whom you seem to want to share your time.

There are no short cuts to fitting in. And when you're one of eight hundred registrations and a couple of hundred active posters? The onus is going to rest entirely in your lap. Welcome to the Phoenix Board! If you want a more Buffista-esque look at this whole etiquette thing, crammed with filky goodness, go here

We should probably drop that onto the About page (with edits around the FAQ/filk, which I believe were going to be archived for posterity).

The Buffistas are an inclusive, welcoming, and flame-free community. Play nice, and you've found a home away from home. If you make personal attacks or offensive posts, or try to start a fight, you will be shunned. However, newbie mistakes are usually corrected gently and informally. Lurk for a while and you'll learn our language.

I think this is where we have a place to update. Perhaps a better word than "shunned"! This seems like written more to a newbie audience. And also some more explicit language for inclusive, welcomeing and flame-free (does anyone flame anymore???) with some of the links provided?