I respect Jessica's right to ask for an apology, and I am glad that Laga made one so quickly and sincerely.

For instance, as unfathomable as it is, if Nilly were to post something that was snippy or even rude, I would never think that she, herself, was a rude person, based on what I know of her.

Yes, this. Fwiw, I've known Laga for two years, and though she chose her words poorly in this case, I can avow that she did not intend to be offensive and probably feels terrible about the unintended result of her statement. I'm very glad that the apology has been made and accepted so graciously by Jessica.

I don't think I've actually seen anyone say, "I felt hurt" over something another poster wrote. I think that I have been equating irritated and offended with hurt when really they're not the same thing at all. I'm starting to realize that even b.org is not utopia. Why can't we all get along? Because in a sufficiently large community that's just not possible, at least not all the time.

I have been having trouble making lightbulbs work the way I want it to work but I'm so glad we've had this discussion because now I see that it probably works as well as it can.

I don't recall who posted that she tends to read the initial few posts in lightbulbs to get an idea of the issue at hand and then waits until the last day of voting to read the summary arguments but I think I will try that next time. It's certainly not fair to ask people not to argue from their own frame of reference which I now understand is exactly what I was asking.

sorry it took me so long to respond

Oh no worries, I hit post and then had to run off to work so I was in the car the whole time.

For instance, as unfathomable as it is, if Nilly were to post something that was snippy or even rude, I would never think that she, herself, was a rude person, based on what I know of her. I "know" her through *all* of her posts, over the past X number of years, in addition to being lucky enough to have met her in person. One rude post weighed against all that is never going to make me think, "Damn, Nilly is a BITCH!" (Which is one of the most improbable statements anyone has ever typed, I'll wager.)

Just for the record, I'm the sort of person who would fear that one rude post would overwrite the entirety of my character. I can see that at least Wolfram has the same sort of post=person perception; I don't know whether other people think and behave the same way. But I am glad to read that most people haven't actually had their feelings hurt in these quite contentious debates.

I may be revealing too much, but I'm pretty sure people would think I'm nicer than I really am, based solely on my posts. I delete a lot of stuff before I hit "post." This is why I know that the post is not the person.

So now you guys think I'm a bitch, right?

....Great.

Jesse I had actually replied to your post with a post of my own about how I delete more stuff than I actually post because after I write it down it seems silly but then that post seemed silly so I deleted it and then completely forgot about it. You're kidding about thinking you're a bitch, right? So hard to hear the humor in text some times so ftr I do not think you're a bitch.

But we think you're a considerate and thoughtful bitch, Jesse.

You're kidding about thinking you're a bitch, right?

Yes, I am.

But we think you're a considerate and thoughtful bitch, Jesse.

Excellent. Carry on.

I am disappointed that Jesse is not bitchy ENOUGH.