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Well, lady, I must say-- You're my kinda stupid.

Mal ,'Heart Of Gold'

Buffista Movies 6: lies and videotape

A place to talk about movies--old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.

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Fone Bone - Jun 11, 2008 8:42:28 am PDT #6280 of 10000

The twist of the movie is

that there is no twist. Plants do indeed cause stuff happens and then it stops. Oh and Marky Mark talks to a plastic plant at one point. No joke.

And the only surprise is that someone actually gave Night the money to make this. It's stupendously awful. The most spectacular act of career suicide I can think of since...well, probably Lady in the Water. Having to decide which one is worse would require me to see both again and I have no plans to ever do that. Please, spend your money on anything else this weekend--even that underwhelming Hulk movie. It's not good, but it's better than this.

amych - Jun 11, 2008 8:44:44 am PDT #6281 of 10000

Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?

Oh and Marky Mark talks to a plastic plant at one point. No joke.

See, that is a twist. Normally it's Marky's co-stars who are talking to a plastic plant.

Jessica - Jun 11, 2008 8:45:24 am PDT #6282 of 10000

And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

Normally it's Marky's co-stars who are talking to a plastic plant.

Zing!

[curse you, wee spoiler edits!]

Atropa - Jun 11, 2008 8:56:15 am PDT #6283 of 10000

The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.

But wait, didn't the trailer also have Tension-Filled Moments with ominous thumping and knocking sounds? Am I misremembering?

Fred Pete - Jun 11, 2008 8:58:37 am PDT #6284 of 10000

Ann, that's a ferret.

But does Marky Mark at least undress ?

Fone Bone - Jun 11, 2008 9:00:41 am PDT #6285 of 10000

That may have been the crew falling asleep from boredom and banging into things. Entirely understandable considering the dialogue they had to listen to all day. The movie's idea of tension is having Marky Mark and Zooey running away from...WIND! I haven't laughed that hard since the characters in Day After tomorrow outran deadly frost.

le nubian - Jun 11, 2008 9:06:37 am PDT #6286 of 10000

"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."

ah ha, thus the review comment that said:

the plants and trees were moving in the breeze

Juliebird - Jun 11, 2008 9:08:29 am PDT #6287 of 10000

I am the fly who dreams of the spider

so if I adored Lady in the Water I might like The Happening?

Fone Bone - Jun 11, 2008 9:14:46 am PDT #6288 of 10000

Perhaps, but I wouldn't count on it. There were elements to Lady in the Water that may have worked with better execution, but in the case of The Happening, I can't see how anything could have improved this story. Really, the biggest shock is how terrible the script is--in the past, Night has proven himself capable of writing believable characters and dialogue that doesn't make you howl with unintentional laughter. At times, I found myself wondering whether the whole movie was some kind of elaborate practical joke, but I don't think that guy has a sense of humor...

Polter-Cow - Jun 11, 2008 9:20:52 am PDT #6289 of 10000

What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

He'd better find one soon if he wants to make a decent Avatar movie.

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