Yeah, BB made me blind with rage pretty much every episode. I didn't mind Art and JJ, although they were no Mark and Bopper.

Anyone planning to watch Around the World in 80 Plates tonight?

I am now! Thanks for the reminder.

The twist where the chefs have to vote one of their own off the losing team is tough, but interesting. I can see a lot more power playing and nastiness going on.

AI:

JLo’s dress makes her look bottom heavy and not in the good way she normally looks bottom heavy. The lighter shade on the bottom instead maybe? Ryan continues to kill it this season. I had to get used to the poofier hair but now I kinda like it. Somebody in wardrobe got the message about dressing up the teen girls like baby hookers. Still with the stripper shoes, though. That’s too bad.

Phil – Have you Ever Seen the Rain. Ha! OK, him cracking on how bad Time of the Season was was pretty cute. I cannot even concentrate because of the sax player's high waisted, bell bottom, buttons down the side, pinstripe jeans. What? That is a whole lotta fug. Also, this is quite possibly the most boring song ever sung on Idol. I feel like I’m at a bad karaoke bar. Where is Simon to talk about cabarets when you need him? I’m so tired of this fool. Is he a star? Dear god, he’s barely a notch above Lee DeWyze. Who? Exactly. Can we be done with this now?

Hollie – Faithfully. Love this song. She’ll do the Mariah version. Ooops. She’s trying to do the Journey version and it’s starting way too low for her which is pulling her way out of tune. Awww. How sad. The one time she should’ve gone for the diva version and she didn’t. She is flat and it’s driving me crazy. At least she doesn’t look like a grandma this week. That’s something. Of course, instead she looks like the bottom half of her dress got caught in an escalator and ripped off and she just luckily happened to be wearing some black leggings under the dress and there were only a few minutes left to get on stage so she just said “Fuck it” and let it ride. Still. Wow. That was not good. Even the power notes at the end were not great. Oh, judges. Why do you just lie sometimes? Well, most of the time.

Josh – You Raise me Up. He's excited for the humidity. Also cute. Josh’s skin is so sensitive, y’all. Hee! Second time in a week this song is getting a work out on reality TV. Have mercy, family. I do think he will kill it, though. He’s gonna take us to church. Jacket watch ’12? Still too small through the shoulders. Dammit, Hilfiger! This was a very self indulgent pick. I’m sure he enjoyed it and that the judges will give him a tongue bath because they always do, but I wasn’t crazy about it.

Jessica – Steal Away. She makes me so sad. Aw, she has never met kids before. Poor baby bot. And not the Etta James I thought she’d go with. I thought for sure she’d do At Last. She probably should have because this is just a weird choice. And it certainly doesn’t help with the perception that she chooses songs that are too old for her. What does this sixteen year old robot girl know about the blues? Her voice can do all the tricks, but there was no passion in it. That was odd.

Another Josh/Phil duet? Oh, joy. Because the first one wasn’t awkward enough? Feh.

Phil and Josh – This Love. Josh sounds great on this song. Wow. Phillip sounds as good as he’s gonna sound. This is so much better than the train wreck last time. You can say “Keep her coming every night” on AI now? Huh. So much for the family hour. And they have to put two pianos between them to keep them physically separated in order for them to look remotely comfortable with singing with each other. But Josh looks much happier/less like he wants to kill himself this week, so there’s that. That was fun. And actually good. Wait, the guys get This Love and the ladies have to sing The Bangles? Umm, that shit ain’t right.

Hollie and Jessica – Eternal Flame. Definitely the short end of the stick. And they are on swings because? This is whack. They sound lovely together. Nice harmonies. And then of course they fuck up the harmonies at the end. That was weird. And the Dawg goes ahead and says exactly what I just said thus making him right. Again. I’m so tainted this season. Reduced to being Randy’s amen chorus.

Shankdaddy pimping for his new film. Well, I’ll never turn down good Adam. His movie looks really bad, though. Small tear. I’ll probably still see it in a theater near me.

Top 4 – Waiting for a Girl Like You. Now, is Foreigner a California band? Is this song supposed to be about California? Was this song somebody’s inspiration? I’m so confused right now. Phillip’s voice is so out of place in this top 4. It’s wild.

Phil – Volcano. Don’t know this song but it sounds imminently Phil-able. We’ll see. That was really great. I loved it. He sounded amazing and totally in the pocket. And Jimmy IV was right. He didn’t sound like anyone else. First time I ever get even a little bit what this kid is all about.

Hollie – I Can’t Make You Love Me. Is not a love song. Unless I really don’t understand love songs. Hmm. I’m not looking forward to this from her. She doesn’t have the depth to do it justice. She sounds much better than on the first song at least. On pitch. On pitch is good. Back in the grandma jumpsuit, though. I guess you can take the girl out of Boca, but you can’t take the Boca out of the girl. And btw, the crotch on that jumpsuit is insane. She’s laying down a really good vocal. And she’s even trying to bring it a little bit emotionally, but she just doesn’t get this song at all. I do like that she didn’t try to do a note for note copycat of the Bonnie Raitt version. Props for that. Gotta agree with the judges here. Either they’ve gotten better or I’ve gotten worse.

Josh – This Is a Man’s World. This right after the Groban song? Sooooo, somebody watched The Voice. And oh, yes. He will shut it down. Stop it. Just stop it. Murder. You better work in your teeny clothes.

Jessica – And I Am Telling You. She has a lot to live up to in the pimp slot. She has to bring it after what Josh laid down. Murder. Again. The bot put it down. I can’t even . . . Work, dammit.

Top 2

Joshua

Jessica

Bottom 2

Phillip

Hollie

Going Home

Hell if I know. I'm not even sure who was the top and who was the bottom, really. I think it’s gonna be Hollie taking her Texland accent home, but they all brought it tonight. Yeah, best top 4 ever. By a country mile.

Around the World in 80 Plates: I want to go back to London now, please.

Does anyone else watch Storage Wars? I started watching it a few weeks ago during an insomnia attack, and now I'm a little addicted, especially since I just watched one where someone found a stash of action figures worth over @12K

Yes, I think we've seen all of them at this point.

Clearly, I need to catch up.

I like the other one better. Auction Hunters?