I don't want it as a phone, I want it as a portable internet thingy that's actually designed to work with Macs. (Of course, I'll also want it to run all the Palm apps I currently have on my Treo, because sometimes I'm on the subway with no internet access and want to be playing Sudoku.)

Speaking of mobile phones, coma victim awakens to democracy:

A Polish man has woken up from a 19-year coma to find the Communist party no longer in power and food no longer rationed, Polish TV reports.

Railway worker Jan Grzebski, 65, fell into a coma after he was hit by a train in 1988.

When Mr Grzebski had his accident Poland was still ruled by its last communist leader, Wojciech Jaruzelski.

"When I went into a coma there was only tea and vinegar in the shops, meat was rationed and huge petrol queues were everywhere," Mr Grzebski said.

The following year's elections ushered in eastern Europe's first post-communist government.

Poland joined the Nato alliance in 1999 and the European Union in 2004.

"What amazes me today is all these people who walk around with their mobile phones and never stop moaning," said Mr Grzebski.

"I've got nothing to complain about."

(Did anyone else see the movie Goodbye, Lenin?)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANA!!!

Whoops, wrong musical.

I got this really great gun.
Shit, where is it?
No, it's really great!
Wait!
Shit, where is it?
Anyway, it's just a .38.
But
It's a gun!
You can make a statement
Wrong!
With a gun
Even if you fail
It tells them who you are
Where you stand
This one was on sale
It
No not the shoe
Well, actually, the shoe was, too
No, that's not it
Shit, I had it
Oh!! There it is...

I might volunteer to go into a 19-month coma if it meant I'd wake up to a democracy.

Okay, that idea of a watermelon popsicle for lunch seemed brilliant. Shame about the sautéed ass taste, though.

I am reflexively excited about the iPhone because there isn't anything Mac-happy that I'm more excited about. Probably not enough to open the wallet round one, though.

I got this really great gun.

Charlie Guiteau
Never said "Never"
Or heard the word "No."
Faced with disaster,
His heart would beat faster,
His smile would just grow

Real-life web shooters:

A new inexpensive nanoglue that becomes stronger as it heats up could redefine the way computer chips are made and even pave the way for Spiderman-esque web-shooting devices in the near future, according to its creator.

Developed by a group of US researchers led by Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute's materials science and engineering professor, Ganapathiraman Ramanath, the new nanoglue is made from commercially available ultrathin glue materials that when heated to extreme temperatures can bond materials that don't usually stick together.

In the USA you can have your say
You can set your goals and seize the day
You're given the freedom to work your way
To the head of the line.

What a wonder is a gun
What a versatile invention
First of all, when you've a gun
[Click!] Everybody pays attention
When you think what must be done
Think of all that you can do--
Remove a scoundrel
Unite a party
Preserve the Union
Promote the sales of my book!
Ensure my future
My niche in history
And then, the world will see
That I am not a man to overlook
Ah-haaaa!!!

People! Today's Monday Musical is Guys & Dolls: [link]