Tom, you also live in NYC, not small-town America.

I think he has a really high budget because the idea was to give him freedom, so he wouldn't feel constrained and like he was on a budget. Sort of like people on diets who binge, maybe? She has a low budget because she's cheap, and wants to save. (Note: this is not me and mr. flea. mr. flea and I are BOTH cheap.)

My question about Robin's couple is, why the hell doesn't she like his friends? That's a big red flag in a relationship, to me. I mean, my partner has friends I don't have much in common with, but I don't dislike any so much I can't stand to see them in my house, you know? Also, this sort of thing ought to have been negotiated in advance.

Yeah, I'd say that it doesn't bode at all well for the relationship long term, because it's getting into controlling whom the husband sees and when. Given that they're Robin-acquaintances, they're not a scuzzy bunch he's associating with.

I'm out in the backyard enjoying a run-up to what promises to be a "tie down the lawn implements and small animals" thunderstorm....

Not quite analog...I can't spell that today.... but it's possible that a friend's spouse can have a personality type that you personally find exhausting and annoying. Not that they are a bad person, just the type of person to set you on edge. My friend enjoys his (similarly personalitied) friends, but when I'm around I'm either gritting my teeth and being polite or we're just not doing stuff around him & them.

I just .... he loves my friend and their family. But for that he'd never be someone I'd spend any time around.

The only plastic surgery I've ever considered has been breast reduction. But it can lead to loss of sensation, plus it can cut off the milk ducts, and I tend to scar really badly from even pretty minor cuts, so I've always decided against it.

There is a technique called a "laser bra" that is supposed to be better with regards to sensation and milk ducts. And it has fewer scars. From what I read I could do that before nursing any potential little people, but I'd rather wait so I don't do the surgery and then mess with their shape by nursing.

bonbon, I think you won by losing!

but giving orders like that shows a fundamental lack of respect.

Completely agreed. This couple's issues go much deeper than one not liking the other's friends.

On the other hand, the husband participates in the disrespect, so maybe that is what works for them.

I have one friend whom I know has had cosmetic surgery, because she's shown me the scars and she talks about it all the time. She's had a tummy tuck (the reconstructed bellybutton really weirds me out), a breast enhancement, an eye lift, a face lift, probably more. Another friend says she'll have the removing-loose-skin surgery after her next and last child; she lost about 150 pounds before her first pregnancy. I would have that kind of surgery done, although I imagine the recovery time and the pain is greater than one is generally led to believe. If I could be sure that a) I'd get exactly what I wanted, and b) I wouldn't suffer infection, scarring, and/or death as a result, I might get some stuff done, but I'm mainly happy with what I've got. Much of what I dislike could be fixed by losing 60 pounds, so I can't really justify cutting on myself to do what, theoretically, I should be able to do myself. I'd leave my boobs alone unless they were down to my knees or something drastic; I don't like the idea of losing sensation or especially being cut on right there.

As I recall, surgery to make breasts match in size is covered under some insurance plans.

Do any of you have a realtionship with a loved one where you would order their friends out of the house?

Hell no. Also, what flea said.

Happy birthday, Ouise and jengod!

I would consider some plastic surgery if someone gave me a gift certificate that had to be used for that (removing things--getting things added seems way more freaky to me). But it's not the sort of thing I'd save up my money for and decide it's a good plan, I don't think.

Much of what I dislike could be fixed by losing 60 pounds, so I can't really justify cutting on myself to do what, theoretically, I should be able to do myself

So much this. And also what meara said.

Right now I want to have some moles removed because they're in the way of where I want a tattoo.

Much of what I dislike could be fixed by losing 60 pounds, so I can't really justify cutting on myself to do what, theoretically, I should be able to do myself

Yeah, this.

The concept of me telling DH who and when he can entertain in his home, or him telling me who and when I can entertain in my home is unthinkable. Yes, if I want to have a bunch of my friends over I discuss it with him. Yes, if he wants to have his friends over he discusses it with me. That would be common courtesy. We don't tell each other what we can and can't do. Don't want to be the boss of an adult.