Hey! Okay, yeah, I do, but but but ... if you wanted to spend the same amount of money on books or CDs or video games, I've always said that would be totally fine.

(Disclaimer: I am in no way the Keeper of the Budget for our household.)

My monthly spending is closer to the larger figure than the smaller one. Of course, I don't really cook for myself...

or video games,

Oh, now that one is such a fib!

Here's a couple question. Someone we know invited friends over to play poker on a Friday night. These are all married guys with kids, so a night out is a big deal to them--it happens maybe three times a year. The wife, who doesn't like any of his friends, was out at the movies. At 10, she called and said she was coming home and everyone had to be out of the house in 15 minutes. The husband negotiated to have them stay an extra 30 minutes and they finished the game and cleaned up and, well, left. They live in a three-bedroom house, so she could easily have gone to the bedroom and watched TV. My mind is blown by this behavior.

Do any of you have a realtionship with a loved one where you would order their friends out of the house? I can't imagine doing such a thing. Maybe if it was midnight and I had to work the next day, I might pull the DH aside and say, "Maybe we could wrap this up?" but I'd never decide for him. I know he wouldn't do that to me either.

Yeah, Robin, discussion between the partners is one thing, but giving orders like that shows a fundamental lack of respect. And the attitude it takes to do such a thing is even worse when it's shutting down a very occassional event.

Tom, you also live in NYC, not small-town America.

I think he has a really high budget because the idea was to give him freedom, so he wouldn't feel constrained and like he was on a budget. Sort of like people on diets who binge, maybe? She has a low budget because she's cheap, and wants to save. (Note: this is not me and mr. flea. mr. flea and I are BOTH cheap.)

My question about Robin's couple is, why the hell doesn't she like his friends? That's a big red flag in a relationship, to me. I mean, my partner has friends I don't have much in common with, but I don't dislike any so much I can't stand to see them in my house, you know? Also, this sort of thing ought to have been negotiated in advance.

Yeah, I'd say that it doesn't bode at all well for the relationship long term, because it's getting into controlling whom the husband sees and when. Given that they're Robin-acquaintances, they're not a scuzzy bunch he's associating with.

I'm out in the backyard enjoying a run-up to what promises to be a "tie down the lawn implements and small animals" thunderstorm....

Not quite analog...I can't spell that today.... but it's possible that a friend's spouse can have a personality type that you personally find exhausting and annoying. Not that they are a bad person, just the type of person to set you on edge. My friend enjoys his (similarly personalitied) friends, but when I'm around I'm either gritting my teeth and being polite or we're just not doing stuff around him & them.

I just .... he loves my friend and their family. But for that he'd never be someone I'd spend any time around.

The only plastic surgery I've ever considered has been breast reduction. But it can lead to loss of sensation, plus it can cut off the milk ducts, and I tend to scar really badly from even pretty minor cuts, so I've always decided against it.

There is a technique called a "laser bra" that is supposed to be better with regards to sensation and milk ducts. And it has fewer scars. From what I read I could do that before nursing any potential little people, but I'd rather wait so I don't do the surgery and then mess with their shape by nursing.

bonbon, I think you won by losing!