Again, thank you, and y'all have good points. I still look at my past self and go, "WTF, self?" But, I did learn a lot about boundaries and what I want and what I'll put up with. I just wish I hadn't let him beat my esteem down so far. That's what I regret.

Well, that, and not kicking him in the head.

re: vid - got it...

thanks askye!

Your welcome!

Aw, juliana. I think about the day you arrived, and Hec and Deb and I helping get stuff into your place and pump up the Aerobed Lee lent you, and how you were all broken and lost and unable to imagine the shape of your life without Z, and then I think about the entire world you've made for yourself since then, and I'm just stunned at your strength and resilience and capacity for joy, and I feel so privileged to know you.

Sooo, has anyone here ever taken Celexa? My doctor seems to think it will help with my panic attacks and crazy stress levels.

The only people who don't make mistakes are boring people who never risk anything. um ... not juliana. Learn and go on. And really - isn't being happy and living well the best revenge?

I did, but for depression. Had no problems. I think Sail may have taken it as part of an anti-anxiety, though.

He's been moving away from Z, though, because Z is apparently becoming a giant jackhole

becoming ? he passed that point a Loooooooooooooong time ago.

smooches JZ

hell, smooches all the Bitches

Okay, in good news, Best. LOLCat. EVER.

Sooo, has anyone here ever taken Celexa? My doctor seems to think it will help with my panic attacks and crazy stress levels.

I've never taken it, but I've heard good things about it. Celexa, like Zoloft, is one of those nifty ADs that has the added benefit of reducing panic attacks. It takes 4-6 weeks to really start to make a difference, though, which is why Xanax et al is so important for the transition. In short: Take the drugs! Yay drugs! The sooner you start, the sooner you'll feel better.

Juliana, you know how utterly disgusted I am by Z., so I'm just going to say that I wish I were surprised at his continued asshattery and general obliviousness. As for what Aimee and others said, I couldn't agree more. I have to believe that things happen for a reason, even when they are painful. I am so grateful that your journey took you to SF, though I hate the pain you went through to get there. As you said, you learned so much in the process.

I think I have a wierd view of mistakes - as you can't grow without them . So there isn't much point in regretting them. But some you need to acknowledge and put on the shelf so you don't repeat them. I can think of a number of things that I have done that I don't wish to repeat - but since they all lead me to who/ where I am today I can't regret them

I am incredibly saddened and angry at the fact that Z. destroyed your self-esteem, though. It's just unpossible that such a gorgeous, smart, kickass woman like you should have any doubt about how very much you rock (and how very much we all know it!).