Spike's Bitches 36: Did I Sully Our Good Name?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
(Note the asscaps of mock-sternness there. Cower before them! ... Why are you giggling at me?)
It's ... allergies?
And why is it when Jilli uses that "my friend finds you attractive and charming and you should get together for coffee" thing it seems like a perfectly sensible and reasonable course of action, but if she offered to do it for me, my brain would explode in mortification and I would pass out from the sudden rush of all the blood in my body rushing to my cheeks?
Oh, totally sensible and reasonable when it's for
someone else.
Dry heat and ignorant hooples. Monsoons start in July...I'm afraid hooples are forever.
I can't believe I don't remember when monsoons start even anymore. But, yeah, hooples are forever. And not in a good way.
Hee! If I were Boss of Everyone, there would be scheduled naptime for everyone.
See, in this we are as one. But you'd give calm, rational convincing reasons for the naps, while I was standing around yelling, "WHAT PART OF MANDATORY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?"
(I'd clearly be yelling on account of needing a nap, and possibly a snack.)
I approve of Jilli as Boss of Everyone. She'd find me a really hot girlfriend, I know she would.
And why is it when Jilli uses that "my friend finds you attractive and charming and you should get together for coffee" thing it seems like a perfectly sensible and reasonable course of action, but if she offered to do it for me, my brain would explode in mortification and I would pass out from the sudden rush of all the blood in my body rushing to my cheeks?
Well, this past weekend, two people told me this girl has a crush on me, and would be totally into stuff. But that's not the impression I've gotten from HER, so I had to be like "Um, that's cool and all, but until SHE flirts back or encourages me to kiss her, I'm not gonna just take your word for it..."
I totally approve of Jilli as Boss of Everything.
(And tomorrow's my birfday! I dowanna do stinky homework on my birfday!)
Happy happies, Epic!!! And, if you MUST do homework tomorrow, plan another day that is your observed birthday day and celebrate then, too.
Someone please assure me that I can totally handle this.
You totally can handle it because you're smart and you've got the determination even when it seems you don't.
Hi, my Bitches!! Am back from the wilds of Tennessee and have missed seeing your fonts.
She'd find me a really hot girlfriend, I know she would.
You're damn right I would. Come to Seattle, we'll find you cute girls.
Someone please assure me that I can totally handle this.
You can totally handle this. Take a few deep breaths and you'll feel better.
but if she offered to do it for me, my brain would explode in mortification and I would pass out from the sudden rush of all the blood in my body rushing to my cheeks?
Because you might be the center of attention? I mean, I understand why people's brains would explode in mortification about this sort of thing, but really, isn't a short bout of mortification and blushing better than NOT KNOWING and being all bashful and stuff?
(Of course, this is where I am compelled to remind all of you that I haven't had to worry about dating and asking someone out for, oh, almost 12 years now.)
But you'd give calm, rational convincing reasons for the naps, while I was standing around yelling, "WHAT PART OF MANDATORY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?"
I'd give calm, rational reasons for a bit, and then resort to "Because I Say So. Shut Up And Take Your Nap, Do Not Argue With Me." Which, while imperious, is not the same as calm.
I've got some seitan cooking in there now.
Hail, Seitan!
....er, I mean: Hail, Satan!
Well, this past weekend, two people told me this girl has a crush on me, and would be totally into stuff. But that's not the impression I've gotten from HER, so I had to be like "Um, that's cool and all, but until SHE flirts back or encourages me to kiss her, I'm not gonna just take your word for it..."
Dude, sometimes people are shy. Some people, as has been mentioned on this very thread, lack the flirt-fu or get all frozen up and stiff around the people they're crushing on and not only can't make the first move, they can't work up the nerve to reciprocate to generalized nonspecific flirtage.
As per example, if Hec had waited for me to flirt back or encourage him to kiss me, I'd still be living in Berkeley with my cats and Matilda wouldn't exist.
Two different people told you about the crush. Ask her out for coffee, offer to buy her a drink, ask for her number, do
something.
Poor dear, she's probably paralyzed by your desirability, and is now all sad because the two friends are reporting back to her that they mentioned her crush to you and you were all "Nuh-uh if I have to go first" and now she's feeling like she can't possibly go first so it's hopeless and obviously she is repulsive to you or why would you not even try with such encouragement?
Of course, I could be talking totally out of my ass. But you're already single and not getting nookie; if you give it a try and nothing comes of it, the worst that happens is that you continue exactly the way you are now.
But you're already single and not getting nookie; if you give it a try and nothing comes of it, the worst that happens is that you continue exactly the way you are now.
Bingo! Go asking for coffee, choose coffee!
I'd like some coffee!
Sadly, no coffee for me unless my parents go out of town. BOOOO!
And, since Jilli is our Boss, you need to listen to her. Coffee.
