No, I can't -- they look too much alike to me. What's the secret?

gapes

...gosh. That's - well, gosh. See, that's a striking example of how one's facial recognition software is subjective, and shaped by that which is familar, I guess. I mean, I remember last year that for the first two weeks I was constantly mixing up 3 little girls in my class and had real difficulty telling them apart. Whereas after a while it just boggled me that I had ever thought they looked alike at all. So it's not like I think you're a freak, because I have been in the same boat - but, gosh.

'Cause to me that sounds as odd as saying that one can't tell the difference between Faith and Drusilla, or Wesley and Doyle. They have totally different facial features, totally different accents, totally different dress styles, body language and personalities. One is a nice-looking and diffident Welsh bloke in a suit and tie, while the other is a wiry little terrier of a bloke from London who struts around barking out insults and acting like he's the sexiest thing in the history of the world, despite the fact that he has a face like a (not wholly unattractive) underfed frog.

However, in the spirit of that How To Identify Your Hobbit summary*, here is a quick guide to identifying your Torchwood Agent:

Is it a brunette who is failing utterly to flirt with any of her coworkers? Then it's Toshiko.

Is it a brunette with Manga eyes and a rather charming gap between her front teeth? Then it's Gwen.

Is every line of dialogue either flirtation or insult? Then it's either Jack or Owen. If said dialogue is coming from a big strapping fella with retro clothing and an agressively American accent, then it's Jack. If it's coming from a small wiry bloke with a Cockney accent and a scowl, then it's Owen.

Is it a bloke wearing a suit and tie and carrying a tray of hot drinks/cleaning something up? Then it's Ianto.

I agree that Burn Gorman is a v. good actor, and better than most of the others. I really enjoy Owen, actually. I'm also very sorry that Suzi Costello got killed off, though - I thought she was very good.

( *How To Identify Your Hobbit: If he looks like knows what's going on, it's Frodo. If he looks like he's JUST NOW realised what's going on, he's Merry. If he clearly has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on, but would quite like a sandwich, it's Pippin. If he's carrying a load of pots and pans and looking protective, he's Sam.)

No, I know the feeling. I went to school with a set of twins, and I couldn't tell Pat and Pam apart until 5th grade. Once I figured it out, it was easy.

And Pat was a girl. So that wouldn't work.

'Cause to me that sounds as odd as saying that one can't tell the difference between Faith and Drusilla, or Wesley and Doyle.

Heh. The first episode of "Buffy" I watched ("The Zeppo), I had trouble telling Faith and Cordelia apart, and somehow convinced myself Faith/Cordelia were a sort of Jeckyll & Hyde situation, where Cordelia didn't remember the things she did as Faith (including, obviously, Xander).

JJ Abrams new show:

Fringe concerns a young female FBI agent (my favorite kind) who in the name of investigating a rash of unexplained phenomena teams with an institutionalized scientist whose life's work may be at the heart of the strange goings-on. The series' previous working title? "The Eureka Files."

Sounds fun! I know he has his detractors, but I always really enjoy J.J. Abrams shows.

Blood Ties season premiere is up on yahoo.

Fringe concerns a young female FBI agent (my favorite kind) who in the name of investigating a rash of unexplained phenomena teams with an institutionalized scientist whose life's work may be at the heart of the strange goings-on. The series' previous working title? "The Eureka Files."

I'm guessing the female FBI agent will be named Blarice Blarling and the scientist will be called Blannible Blechter.

I can't believe they ever had "files" in the name.

My friend Nancy is a writer on Blood Ties. I haven't heard anything about whether she thinks that it's any good yet.