Ours didn't really have anything of monetary value that wasn't given to the kids years ago. Dad's got Grandaddy's guns. I'm sure all the old quilts went to my eldest aunt, and eldest uncle probably got the family jewelry.

I've got a coin collection of my father's that I have no earthy idea what to do with. His other collections (Reader's Digest record albums and Jim Beam bottles, oy.) didn't amount to much.

Where does one find trustworthy help to evaluate coins? He's been gone for 13 years and I've yet to figure this out.

How did you define it, Raq?

"Uh, pause, it allows me to talk to the engineers using only movie quotes."

My step-mother took care of the whole inheiritance problem by giving me my mother's stuff as Christmas presents. @@

It's just my brother and me (and we both have strongly voiced intent to keep it that way for the actual divvying up, no partners or kids involved) so when, a million years from now, it comes about, I don't expect it to be fraught. But we've seen it modelled really well when our grandparent estates were taken apart, so the idea of drama is kinda foreign. They were very stereotypical midwestern: Oh, you simply must have this. Oh, no, I couldn't. You really should. Maybe M would keep it for a while. Please, take it!

It was kinda funny. The other side was just the two siblings, their partners, the house, and a shitload of wine and threats over who would have to take home the ugly (but worth a lot!) crystal table lamps. I think they sold those.

I have laid first claim to Grandma's pictures and original letters. She has given me first claim to my great-grandmother Juliana's wedding ring, which is this gorgeous white gold Art Deco ring. I love it.

I'm also co-executor with one of my stepsisters on my mom & stepdad's will - we are to sell the property and divide everything, with half to me and half to them. That could get nasty - I'm very attached to the property, as that is the house I grew up in. Hopefully it won't come up for a very long time.

Unrelatedly, is there a French or German word for feeling happy and melancholy at the same time? Happiness at the present situation, but keenly missing the past? Something?

If I was told "Here's all of Mom's stuff that's left over, do what you want with it," and I find something that can go on eBay--some old cameras--am I justified in keeping any money from the sale for myself (and Hubby)?

I've never been privy to a household being divvied up, so I can't imagine what it would be like. When it comes to stuff of my parents--well, I also can't imagine what would be left of one parent's after the other one has outlived them for a while.

I also can't imagine keeping much of, say, my dad's, even if it's willed explicitly to me unless my mother insisted I did. And then I might try and get it left in their house anyway.

Well, except cufflinks. I do need some cufflinks. And any knives, and that drinking horn that matches one I have.

Other than that, I'm good. And I want that shit even if he doesn't leave it to me. Not like ma or sis would.

My mom is still trying to get me to take home one of grandma's silver tea set things. The thing is, I don't really have any use for one, no place to put one, and it really has no sentimental value. It's weird.

My grandfather had done some trust thing that was supposed to avoid estate taxes or something, but the wording had failed to take into account the possibility that my uncle (who was 15 when Grandpa died) might have kids while Grandma was still alive and controlling the trust. So Grandma left her personal estate to that grandson, which made sorting through her stuff both easier - anything of value belonged to Jon - and harder because she had a lot of stuff that wasn't really valuable but all kinds of sentimental and we had to figure that all out more or less on the fly and quickly because the house had to be sold. I think we did pretty well, there were no hurt feelings that I know of, except the inevitable suspicions that Grandma was mad at the rest of us and cut us out of her will though I am fairly sure that that was not the case - as my mom pointed out, if she had wanted to make a statement she would have left any offending parties $1 and mentioned them by name.

The other side of the family was a whole different kind of mess since Babushka was in the process of leaving her abusive second husband when she died and most of the problems centered on where she would be buried. Second husband won that battle, alas.

Honestly, the one of the harder parts I imagine, and have seen, is deciding that no one really wants that and yet feeling a bit bad that you don't want this thing that had value to them. Or admitting that while it is comfortingly familiar...it's really kind of hideous/ridiculous/pointless.